The Tightrope

I am in the middle of a tightrope strung taut across a deep canyon. If I were to look down, I could not see the bottom, only the rushing current of the river below. At times the water crashes against boulders in the river with so much force that I am misted by the spray. I realize that I am currently standing over the deepest part of the canyon and have no form of harness or safety equipment. The volume of the waves and current crashing below me and the strong winds gusting through the canyon make it difficult to hear much of anything else.

I hear myself say, "Lord, you are my strength and my pillar. I will not look to the left or to the right."

At that moment a spot of light appears above the ground on the other side of the canyon, and my Father's voice says to me, "Child, take one step at a time and do not remove your eyes from that spot. If you lose sight of that spot by looking to the left or the right, you will surely fall. I have equipped you for success by becoming your strength. With me you have the strength and endurance to push beyond the wind and waters, to remain balanced in a gust of wind, and to take each step forward with confidence. Do not look away from the place I have provided for you."

With that I spread my arms, lift my chin, and fix my eyes on the spot of light. I know that looking down would cause me to doubt God's strength and fall to the river and rocks. I take one step at a time, pausing to right myself when the wind gusts try unsteady me or a spray of river water assaults me. I never once remove my eyes from the spot of light on the other side of the canyon. Slowly, but with confidence in the strength of my God, I make my way across the tightrope. As I reach the other side, I hear my Father ask me to stop before placing my feet on solid ground.

"Daughter," he says, "I want you to life a prayer of praise and worship before you step into the promise I have prepared for you." So I do, right there on the tightrope, only one step away from solid, secure ground.

As I praise my God with humility for the strength and endurance to reach my promise, I see clouds part and the spot of light grow to reveal the enormity of God's reward for my trust. He says, "Daughter, this is all yours because you placed your trust in my strength and endurance, accepting with humility your weakness, and were obedient to worship me before laying hold of your blessings. Others have not been as fortunate as you because they reach this side and never take the moment to acknowledge whose strength got them here. Their blessing remains limited by their desire to maintain a degree of control in their walk with me. But you, Daughter, have trusted me completely, so now step into the blessing I have prepared for you. I love you, Child. Welcome home."

As I take that last step onto solid ground, the expanse I see before me grows another ten times larger. There are sparkling waterfalls, large pastures with grazing animals, mountains pointing to the sun, meadows full of flowers, and a brook winding by with jumping fish. The peace and serenity that encompass me are indescribable, unfathomable. I know that no effort of the enemy could touch me here, and without a doubt, I know I am experiencing what true freedom really is.

On Standby

In psychology we have this very "scientific" term: the Bystander Effect. It literally is just what it sounds like. When an event occurs in a public space, those who observe tend to stand around and expect that someone else is going to take care of it. Example: a kid is being bullied at school. The other kids watch, laugh, encourage the bully, or in the very rare case, stand up for the kid. Thus, the bystander effect.

A few days ago God brought to my attention the way that the bystander effect occurs in His church, too. More often than not (in general), church members don't go out of their way to make a difference, be it by serving the pastor, greeting visitors, hugging the hurting, playing with kiddos, or even cleaning the bathrooms. I am blessed to be a part of a church where doing these things is second nature to most members, but it wasn't too long ago that I was attending a church where things like this went undone and people went uncared for because everyone was expecting someone else to do it.

Think about when someone is on standby for a flight. That person is completely passive, just waiting for the gate attendant to announce whether they have a spot on the flight or not. When we are "standby Christians" we are passive, just waiting for someone to tell us what we want to hear or give us what we need. The problem is that Christianity is not a passive faith. Can you imagine if Jesus had been a bystander? Things would be a lot different than they are today: the world wouldn't know of God's saving grace, chances are Jesus wouldn't have been crucified, and it is likely that you wouldn't be you.

God has called us to be more than bystanders. The very definition of our faith in Christ requires that our works follow that faith. Christ was a servant before He was anything else, and to stand by and watch others in need and do nothing is being like the Pharisees in the Bible. (Jesus wasn't a huge fan of them, btw.) Instead, we have a call to action. The very purpose of our lives on this earth is to point to our Heavenly Father, Creator, and King in every aspect of our lives. As a good friend of mine said the other day, "We're only here as vessels for God. This life isn't about us at all."

Rules for Dating God's Daughter

I'm sure most of us are familiar with the rules that a caring father has for men that want to date his daughter. Things like have her home by 10, don't break her heart, get to know her family, etc. We've all seen movies or TV shows where the dad threatens the kid with sure death if he does anything to hurt the man's little girl. There's that ounce of reverence in the boy's heart toward the girl's father because he knows that this man means business. I remember my dad telling me about his "application to date" his daughters and how he plans to "bring out the guns" upon first meeting potential suitors. At the time we all kind of knew he was jokingly serious, mostly because we didn't have boys lining up for a chance with us.

But have you every considered that God has rules for dating His daughters too? God designed romance, love, and relationship, so it's only logical that He would have an intended way that dating should occur. I believe that God intends for dating to occur with the intention of it leading to marriage. Casual dating, friends with benefits, hook-ups, and similar arrangements just don't fit with God's design for a man and a woman to become one flesh. Rather, those arrangements take what God meant for beauty and glorifying Him and makes it meaningless, purposeless, and hurtful. If you've ever had your heart broken, you know exactly what I mean. God doesn't impose rules to make life miserable or boring; He asks us to live a certain way because He knows it is the best way we can experience the life He created us to have.

Using the model of biblical marriage and Christ's love for the church, I've outlined some scriptural rules that God has for dating His daughters (Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, Titus 2, 1 Peter 3):

• Put her before yourself
• Cherish her for everything she is
• Lead her into closer intimacy with Christ
• Help her see how beautiful she is
• Defend her from those who try to hurt her
• Challenge her to live God's way

Girls! All this doesn't mean that you're off the hook!! You still have the responsibility to respect and honor him, submit to his godly authority, and trust in his ability to lead you. You are not entitled and shouldn't behave as such; you are, however, deserving of a love that reflects Christ's love for you. If the man you're with can't or won't do these things for you, isn't challenging you to grow in your faith, or is harming your relationship with God, your family, and your friends, it's time to move on. Break it off, cling to God, and patiently await the man that He is preparing for you.

Why Singleness is Actually Amazing

I've always been single. Never dated. Never even had a guy show interest (that I know of - I mean, I'm pretty inept at being able to tell...). In high school it didn't matter because hardly anyone actually dated (we were all a little too busy with those crazy AP classes and all things Christian school to date). In college, it still didn't really matter because most of my friends were single, too. It didn't really start to bother me until I became one of the only people left in my friend-group to be single. Now, I am one of two people in my friend-group who is not engaged, married, and/or having kids. At first this was extremely isolating. It's hard watching your friends fall in love, be surrounded by family, and know that when you go home the only one to greet you is your stuffed animal.

When this topic comes up with adults a bit more seasoned in life than me (i.e. old enough to be my parents), I get a lot of mixed comments. Some of them are gung-ho on finding me a man - like literally start to point them out and say, "What about that one?" Others of them say things like, "This is such a great chance for you to be independent and learn about yourself." or "Think about how much you couldn't do if you were tied down to a husband and family right now." And then the ones at church are often the ones to say "God is bringing you the man of your dreams; just be patient." If you've been single for your whole life, you know how annoying all of these responses are. For me, this was pushing me toward isolation, loneliness, and self-doubt. One night I looked God right in the face (ok, not quite literally) and told Him how frustrated I was with being so alone here, how being this far from my family and closest friends feels so wrong, and that I hated having to be patient even longer.

The response I got from Him opened my heart and mind to a new idea that a lot of singles don't discover. God showed me that if I were at home, I would still be relying on my mom and dad for emotional support, wanting them to commiserate with me over the hard days, and staying stagnant in my young adulthood. If I were at home, I would be attending a church where my past haunts me and my relationships have faltered. If I was dating, I would be seeking attention from a man who would likely take advantage of my history of codependency. But because I'm here, living alone, and feeling isolated, the only One I have left to run to is God. I have to rely on Him for emotional support, bring my hard days to Him, share my hurts and joys with Him, and live beyond my past. Here, I attend a church full of love where my past doesn't define me and I am challenged to live more like Jesus every day. Here, I have found friendships with people who love me too much to let me continue living life the way I always have. Here, I am growing, and not becoming independent,  but learning how to properly depend on God as my everything.

A lot of people say that being single is the greatest time in your life because you learn to do everything for yourself. I beg to differ. Being single is an amazing season of life, but it is because that is the prime time for learning how to trust God with your whole life and let Him help you through all the ups and downs. If you're not whole in Christ as a single, your brokenness is going to be permanently attached to someone else's brokenness, and you'll need a lot more healing to be whole as a couple.

Reign

Romans 6:12, "Do not let sin reign in your body."

The word reign can be understood in two different ways:
1. to rule over, make all decisions for (sovereign)
2. that which advises the decision maker

At royal court, there are varying degrees of authority. The King or Queen is the most powerful, but they have advisers that temper that power. If at any time one of the people they have at court is known to be a traitor to the crown, action is taken to remove that person and all of his influence at court as to prevent a threat to the royal family, the palace, or the nation.

When sin is allowed to stay at court in your heart or mind, it causes a traitorous uprising amongst them. It begins subtly taking control of your thoughts and actions, and you don't even realize how easily you hand over your power and authority. Soon, it is no longer you that is truly making your decisions, but rather the clouded judgment that sin has brought in. Sin is a traitor - it doesn't want what is best for you. It just looks enticing and friendly in the moment to get you to look away as the Enemy steals from you and attacks your palace.

So, how do we stop this? We are choice-makers. We have the ability to choose whether sin is allowed to stay at court or we take action against the traitor and all its influence. When sin tries to re-enter and advise us on our decisions, we have the power of Christ to make it leave and never come back. One work from us in Jesus's name makes the order final, just like when a king's seal is placed on an order to his people. There is no questioning the king's order, no trying to convince him otherwise. Once you've ordered sin out of your court, nothing and no one should be able to change your mind. Remind yourself of sin's traitorous nature and the harm it wants to cause in your life. Stick to your order and ask the Holy Spirit - your right-hand adviser - to help you. When the temptation comes to let sin back in, the Holy Spirit can be there to remind you of why you ordered sin out of your court and the havoc it was causing.

Royalty and the royal guard never lose their vigilance in protecting their court from the enemy. They know that if they do, the life of the king or the entire nation is at dire risk. they take all threats against the king seriously and protect him to the fullest extent. The same goes for the Holy Spirit and angels in the Christian's life. If we step into a danger zone, there is only so much the Holy Spirit can do to keep us alive and well - He cannot defy our free will to choose danger. We have to be vigilant at all times - it's when we get lax that sin can easily re-enter and destroy us.

Freedom Isn't Free

Romans 6

Baptism is representative of one dying to sin, sickness, and depression with Jesus Christ on the cross, and being resurrected with Him in the same power that gave Him new life. When we go back to the things that have died and let them have a place in our lives, it is like we are denying the death and resurrection of Christ. We were resurrected with Christ and have the power to overcome sin and death. It is our choice whether we do overcome. Why would a man freed from slavery and given power over the slave master go back to him and ask to be his slave again? People who have gained their freedom stand on that freedom and fight to protect it. They do all they can not to go back to slavery. It is a fight, though, to stay free - often the way of life in slavery was easier, less demanding, even so filled with a lot of pain and punishment. Some people give up the fight and go back because life there seemed easier - you just do what you're told to do, you make no hard choices.

We have to remind ourselves every day why we chose to leave slavery and what we are chasing after, fighting for. Freedom from sin comes with a price, but it also comes with a great reward.

When temptation to sin comes:

• Rebuke it and the devil the Jesus's name
• Take the thought captive in Jesus's name
• Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, will, and emotions
• Do the righteous opposite of what the temptation is telling you to do

When you catch yourself in sin:

• Repent to God and to the person you sinned against (if possible)
• Forgive yourself as Christ forgave you
• Do whatever is necessary and possible to repair the damage
• Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, will, and emotions
• Remain vigilant, guarding your heart from attacks of the enemy

At the end of the day:

• Ask God to reveal to you any sin that you still need to repent of
• Be willing to hear and acknowledge it with humility
• Do what must and can be done to repair it, involving the other person if possible
• Praise, worship, recommit to being vigilant of sin
• Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, will, and emotions
• Command the devil to flee in Jesus's name and have no dominion over your thoughts and actions

At all times: CONFESSIONS, PRAISE AND WORSHIP

Integrity is My Only Option

Everything I do plants a seed or waters one that someone else planted, and my actions can determine whether that seed and water brings eternal life or eternal death. Thankfully, it's not me who brings growth to the itty bitty seed, but God uses my labor and love to produce His life in those He has given me influence over. Therefore, I need to constantly be aware of how I am building on the foundation that Christ laid.  What materials am I using? Am I willing to give my very best to help build the temple of God? Helping to build Christ's church is going to cost me - how much am I willing to spend?

In 1 Corinthians 3:5-17, Paul explains how our work builds upon the foundation of Christ, and in time, that work is going to be tested by God's holy fire. If we use flammable materials, our work will be destroyed and come to nothing; but if we use precious materials like gold, it will outlast the fire and become more pure as a result of it. Either way we are rewarded in heaven, but those who build with gold are rewarded at a greater measure.

Gold in this analogy is like our life - the most everlasting substance that becomes more pure as it endures more flame. What does it look like to give one's life for Christ in today's world?

• Leaving behind selfish desires that do not glorify God
• Thinking about how what you're going to do will effect the Kingdom of God

In countries represented by kings, the loyalest of subjects always thinks about how their actions will reflect on their king. They wouldn't enter into a battle or kill a man or even ride to another town without their king commanding it or thinking about the motive and the mission the king assigned. If he went against the king's wishes to any degree, he was punished even unto death because the king knew the importance of maintaining his image and reputation for the sake of his kingdom.

My King is Jesus Christ, and I must view Him with an even higher regard, acting only within His motive and mission, pursuing only the battles He assigns to me, and acting and living in a way that accurately and beautifully reflects who He is. My contributions to the Kingdom will be tested under fire. My life is saved, but there will be pain - a cleansing burn - if the materials I build with are not fireproof.

I want to give my life - my gold - to build the Kingdom of God. That means there are things I will no longer be able to do because they go against my love for Christ. With the Holy Spirit's help, I will discipline my mind and body to behave and function according to the will and nature of the Spirit of God. As I am transformed from glory to glory, my nature becomes more like His. Old ways of living have fallen away, and my desires change to fit His. The focus is NOT on not doing certain things but rather on doing those things which lead to transformation. The "not doing" becomes a byproduct - the fruit - of my new nature in Him.