I've been realizing more and more lately how important it is to be constantly feeding on the things of the Spirit. I find myself in conversations where my flesh is very pleased to continue in the direction it is naturally heading, but at the same time, I am seeing infinite opportunities to turn it toward my Lord and Savior. Coming away from those conversations leaves me thinking a lot, especially when I choose to let them go where they will.
I am seeing, though, that God is giving me so many chances to be a light for Him in a place of darkness. One friend in particular tends to almost beg for God to be brought into the conversation but won't do it herself because she's not confident in her relationship with Him. I understand exactly where she is coming from and have been in that place so many times before. It can be so hard to open our flesh up to the things God desires because sometimes they aren't anything like what our flesh wants to have.
Another friend of mine has been really instrumental in challenging me to find God every single day whether I want to or not, and I have seen how the fruit of that time in seeking Christ really does spread. I get so excited about the things that God shares with me during my time with Him that it excites me to share it - which is why it's so annoying when my flesh overrules and makes it so hard, almost painful, to spend that time with God. Maybe, in reality, it's a fear of how He's going to react to our coming back and asking for a new start. But I've come to learn that fear is a lack of faith, often a result of pure exhaustion and being overwhelmed by trying to do it all ourselves.
But God desires us to be in close relationship with Him all the time. He doesn't change His mind based on what we've done that day or the desires we have. He is all the same and desires the same from us. We are His, He is with us, and we are precious and loved by Him, all the time, no matter what (Isaiah 43:1-4).
So, I guess we're left with two choices. #1 - push through, work harder, see what we can do/figure out = pure exhaustion; or #2 - rely on God and see what He can do, even when it's hard or scary to lose our sense of control = joy and strength.
My encouragement for you is that you would be purposeful about finding time to spend with God. Push aside your fears or apprehensions about going back to Him or having to ignore the fleshly desires that are so much easier to please. And don't go it alone. Things can be really tough sometimes. I get that more than most of you would ever understand. But find someone who can be an encouragement to you, who is going through the same thing you are, and work together to find God in your situations. He loves you and wants you to be with Him every second of the day.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Backstage Pass
Last night I had one of the best experiences of my entire life. I got to meet the music group that I have always wanted to meet. In fact, I’m pretty positive that I am their biggest fan of all time! The group is called BarlowGirl. They are a group of three sisters (with the last name Barlow – go figure!) in their twenties that are Christian rock singer/songwriters. They are from Chicago and their dad is a music pastor. Something I love about them, besides their completely genuine and authentic personalities, is their intense sarcasm. They banter and joke through most of their show and can make literally anyone laugh so hard their stomach hurts. I have been a fan of the girls and their music since they first came out when I was in middle school. You could say I was one of those to “discover” them, I guess. It has always been a dream of mine to meet them and tell them what a huge positive impact their music has had in my life, and last night I got to do that!
For my mom’s birthday (she’s their 2nd biggest fan), we bought VIP tickets for their show at a church in Forest Lake, MN. My mom, my sister, my roommate, and I all went together. We made red fan t-shirts (with glitter!!!) and sat in the center 2nd row, close enough to touch them! Before the concert we got to do a meet and greet, asking them any questions we wanted to and had a group picture taken with them. We became known as “the girls with the shirts,” and they even pointed us out to everybody else at the concert.
There were two headliners that were ok, but when BarlowGirl finally came on to do their acoustic set, I was thrilled! I was amazed at how the songs, even though done acoustically instead of as rock, sounded so much like the album version. The girls are absolutely stunning when they perform live – you can tell they really love what they do. They have an incredible ability to harmonize and blend with each other almost as if there is one voice singing three parts. They took time to joke around, but also to be serious about their message of hope in Jesus Christ. The whole night was just very real and intimate. They shared some of the things that are going on in their lives and encouraged us in some of the things we have going on in ours. They played a couple of Christmas songs and a new song they just wrote, but mostly they stuck to their well-known songs that very much embody their hearts of worship toward God. They played all of my absolute favorites which made it really fun to sing along. It was a really powerful night and I am so blessed to have been there to experience it.
At the end of the concert we got to have them sign the back of our shirts and talk with them for a little while. We told them how it was my mom’s birthday and about the cake I had made her (which they said we should have brought to share). I was so giddy after talking to them and having them sign my shirt that I wanted my mom to keep taking pictures of my sister, my roommate and me in our awesome, now highly valuable t-shirts. I said I wasn’t going to take it off and would just wear it to school on Monday; but I thought better of it and decided it needed to be kept from any potential harm. My infinitely valuable (to me anyway) autographed t-shirt is now safely tucked into my duffle bag to go back home with me so that it never loses its simple amazingness!
The night of December 4, 2011, I got to meet the three girls who have been the biggest inspiration and God’s tool in my life to build my faith and trust in Him. There is absolutely nothing like being able to share with someone the kind of impact they are making on your life and the lives of so many others that surround you. And that, basically, is how one of the single best nights of my life went down.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Yet Again
You know what's kind of funny in a not-so-funny way? The fact that God has to continually prove His faithfulness to us not matter how many times He already has. This week was one of those times for me that, because of the circumstances I was facing, I chose not to remember the benefits I have in Him (Psalm 103) that He has proven to me countless times. I was faced with the reality that I'm not really that much different from the Israelites in the way they lived their lives.
Throughout the entire Old Testament we see a pattern of the Israelites following God as if their lives depended on it and then falling away and even worshipping other gods, much like some of us do today. It's not something I'm proud of, but I would say I probably have a pretty "Israelite" pattern of living in my own life, and it frustrates me that it's so easy to fall away from what I know to be true. I tend to be a pretty stubborn person, and when I make up my mind one way, it's quite a challenge to get me to do things someone else's way. I also like to be in control, which means the idea of giving complete control of my life to Someone else is one of the scariest things imaginable. But what is even scarier is seeing how NOT trusting God with my life ends up in such utter terror and dispair.
Something I found encouraging the other day was a passage from Hebrews 10:19-11. A close friend of mine read it with me after some pretty intense circumstances arose and I marveled at how it listed out the fathers of my faith from the Old Testament who lived their entire lives known for their faith in God. I had this little lingering thought that having my name known for centuries after my death because I had such utter faith in God would be probably the biggest privilege and honor I was ever allowed to have. It occurred to me that they had this thing figured out - there was nothing in this world that was going to separate them from the promises of God, and they were stinkin sure of that! The model of the lives of men like King David, Joshua, Abraham, Moses, Noah, and Isaiah are laid out right in front of us along side God's instructions for how to live a life of faith that is pleasing to Him. He makes it so plain for us, and just to have us ignore it and decide we've got it handled on our own.
Well, I can tell ya folks, that I certainly do not have it handled on my own and He is standing there just waiting for me to run to Him and let Him be my strength when I am too weak to stand and fight. And He has surrounded me with an entire army of fighters that act as His strength in my life as well. The thought of this puts me in such perfect peace and I know that with their help I can live by my life verse:
You keep me in perfect peace because my mind is stayed on You and I trust in You. ~ Isaiah 26:3
Throughout the entire Old Testament we see a pattern of the Israelites following God as if their lives depended on it and then falling away and even worshipping other gods, much like some of us do today. It's not something I'm proud of, but I would say I probably have a pretty "Israelite" pattern of living in my own life, and it frustrates me that it's so easy to fall away from what I know to be true. I tend to be a pretty stubborn person, and when I make up my mind one way, it's quite a challenge to get me to do things someone else's way. I also like to be in control, which means the idea of giving complete control of my life to Someone else is one of the scariest things imaginable. But what is even scarier is seeing how NOT trusting God with my life ends up in such utter terror and dispair.
Something I found encouraging the other day was a passage from Hebrews 10:19-11. A close friend of mine read it with me after some pretty intense circumstances arose and I marveled at how it listed out the fathers of my faith from the Old Testament who lived their entire lives known for their faith in God. I had this little lingering thought that having my name known for centuries after my death because I had such utter faith in God would be probably the biggest privilege and honor I was ever allowed to have. It occurred to me that they had this thing figured out - there was nothing in this world that was going to separate them from the promises of God, and they were stinkin sure of that! The model of the lives of men like King David, Joshua, Abraham, Moses, Noah, and Isaiah are laid out right in front of us along side God's instructions for how to live a life of faith that is pleasing to Him. He makes it so plain for us, and just to have us ignore it and decide we've got it handled on our own.
Well, I can tell ya folks, that I certainly do not have it handled on my own and He is standing there just waiting for me to run to Him and let Him be my strength when I am too weak to stand and fight. And He has surrounded me with an entire army of fighters that act as His strength in my life as well. The thought of this puts me in such perfect peace and I know that with their help I can live by my life verse:
You keep me in perfect peace because my mind is stayed on You and I trust in You. ~ Isaiah 26:3
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Un caballo llamado “Sueño”
Siempre me encantaban los caballos y soñaba de tener mi propio caballo. Cuando tenía catorce años, entré a un concurso de ensayo para ganar un caballo. Tuve una entrevista telefónica con cinco expertos de caballos. ¡Gané el caballo!
El caballo tenía cuatro meses cuando yo lo gané. Lo nombré “Sueño” (Dream) porque yo realicé me sueño de tener un caballo. Hace cinco años que yo gané mi caballo el 15 de septiembre de 2006. Ahora, él tiene cinco y medio años y vive en Minnesota dónde mis padres y mi entrenador lo cuide por mí mientras estoy en la escuela.
Cuando gané mi caballo, vivía en la ciudad de Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, y no puedo mantenerlo allí. Por eso, tuve que buscar el lugar perfecto para que él viviera. También, tuve que conseguir un trabajo para pagar sus gastos. Como tener un hijo. Pago su educación como un caballo de exhibición, su comida y habitación, y sus gastos médicos, pero no hay seguro de salud para los caballos. Mi caballo me impide viajar lejos de casa por mucho tiempo. Pero no lamenté nunca tener a “Sueño.
Él me enseña mucho sobre la paciencia, la perseverancia y la confianza. Yo estoy aprendiendo a entrenar los caballos, también, y mi entrenador me apoya mucho. Porque me encantan los caballos mucho, especialmente “Sueño,” decidí hacer mi carrera con caballos. Quiero hacer psicoterapia con la ayuda de los caballos para las mujeres jóvenes que sufren de depresión, desórdenes de la alimentación, y han sido abusadas. Espero que “Sueño” y yo podemos ayudar a muchas mujeres jóvenes. ¡Yo estoy agradecida de tener a “Sueño” y yo le quiero muchísimo!
Vea a Sueño en Facebook aquí: https://www.facebook.com
El caballo tenía cuatro meses cuando yo lo gané. Lo nombré “Sueño” (Dream) porque yo realicé me sueño de tener un caballo. Hace cinco años que yo gané mi caballo el 15 de septiembre de 2006. Ahora, él tiene cinco y medio años y vive en Minnesota dónde mis padres y mi entrenador lo cuide por mí mientras estoy en la escuela.
Cuando gané mi caballo, vivía en la ciudad de Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, y no puedo mantenerlo allí. Por eso, tuve que buscar el lugar perfecto para que él viviera. También, tuve que conseguir un trabajo para pagar sus gastos. Como tener un hijo. Pago su educación como un caballo de exhibición, su comida y habitación, y sus gastos médicos, pero no hay seguro de salud para los caballos. Mi caballo me impide viajar lejos de casa por mucho tiempo. Pero no lamenté nunca tener a “Sueño.
Él me enseña mucho sobre la paciencia, la perseverancia y la confianza. Yo estoy aprendiendo a entrenar los caballos, también, y mi entrenador me apoya mucho. Porque me encantan los caballos mucho, especialmente “Sueño,” decidí hacer mi carrera con caballos. Quiero hacer psicoterapia con la ayuda de los caballos para las mujeres jóvenes que sufren de depresión, desórdenes de la alimentación, y han sido abusadas. Espero que “Sueño” y yo podemos ayudar a muchas mujeres jóvenes. ¡Yo estoy agradecida de tener a “Sueño” y yo le quiero muchísimo!
Vea a Sueño en Facebook aquí: https://www.facebook.com
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I'm Back - Please Read to the End
I had a reader ask me yesterday in a fairly intense conversation why I quit blogging. She told me she missed reading my uplifting and inspiring posts and seeing the love of God shining through the text of my page. I had to take a step back and really think about that. I see the views-counter all the time of how many people have been on my page, but the lack of comments and not knowing if people were even actually reading what I was saying made it hard for me to continue. What if I was spending all this time on these posts and no one even cared about what I was writing?
I'd have to say I fell into a rut, in more ways than one: dealing with some personal stuff, handling the stress of college life, and actually losing a good amount of inspiration to even continue writing. Even the pressures of performance, something I've struggled with since I was very young, trying to live up to what I perceive others expect from me and thinking that if I don't get a tangible response I'm not performing well. But I realized today how much I miss my writing, how calming, almost therapeutic, it is for me, and that I'm actually pretty good at it whether people compliment me on it or not. I realized that I can write just for ME and not make it about what other people want to hear. There are things God wants to show me through my time in His Word and journaling and writing with and to Him that are important for ME to have, not just to share with all of you.
So to sum all this up, basically, I'm back. And it may not be as regular as before, but I can promise it will not be months in between each of my posts. And things may get a bit more personal, and I hope that you all are ok with that because it is what matters to me. Being a human means that we experience pain, weakness, joys, successes, and so many other things. I am just as human as all of you and I have prepared myself to become more vulnerable with the people who can experience God through my experiences.
I pray you all experience Him today in a tangible and meaninful way that is unforgettable to you. I'd love to hear about it! Leave comments below with prayer requests or what has been going on in your day so we can all share in each other's joys and sorrows, rejoicing with God when He rejoices, and thanking Him when He gives us moments of teaching and correciton.
I'd have to say I fell into a rut, in more ways than one: dealing with some personal stuff, handling the stress of college life, and actually losing a good amount of inspiration to even continue writing. Even the pressures of performance, something I've struggled with since I was very young, trying to live up to what I perceive others expect from me and thinking that if I don't get a tangible response I'm not performing well. But I realized today how much I miss my writing, how calming, almost therapeutic, it is for me, and that I'm actually pretty good at it whether people compliment me on it or not. I realized that I can write just for ME and not make it about what other people want to hear. There are things God wants to show me through my time in His Word and journaling and writing with and to Him that are important for ME to have, not just to share with all of you.
So to sum all this up, basically, I'm back. And it may not be as regular as before, but I can promise it will not be months in between each of my posts. And things may get a bit more personal, and I hope that you all are ok with that because it is what matters to me. Being a human means that we experience pain, weakness, joys, successes, and so many other things. I am just as human as all of you and I have prepared myself to become more vulnerable with the people who can experience God through my experiences.
I pray you all experience Him today in a tangible and meaninful way that is unforgettable to you. I'd love to hear about it! Leave comments below with prayer requests or what has been going on in your day so we can all share in each other's joys and sorrows, rejoicing with God when He rejoices, and thanking Him when He gives us moments of teaching and correciton.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Beauty in Simplicity
These are just a few photos that a friend and I put together for fun. Let me know what you think!
Who Am I Doing This For?
I reread some of my journals last night from this past spring and summer, starting around April and continuing on to about August, where I knew I had to stop. It wasn't because they were hard to read or dug up painful memories that I stopped, rather they made me realize something about myself: so much of the time, especially when I'm writing my blog or having a quiet time with a friend, I consider what I say based on how it will benefit them, as if it has already done its work for me. I find myself doing my Bible study or personal quiet time in such a way that it's as if I'm just looking for what I can share with others. Granted, I still get a lot out of my time in the Word, but instead of being focused on how it applies best to my life, I often find myself focused on how I can best word it in my next blog post to share it in a way that's relevant to the reader. But when I journal with no intentions of sharing my writing, God truly comes and it's as if I'm pouring my whole heart out to Him; and throughout the writing you can find a definite place where God does the necessary work in my heart and my writing is transformed from selfish, full of problems, pitiful little girl to young woman of the Most High who knows who she is in the eyes of her Creator.
Realizing this really impacted me because I recognized that God's first goal in sharing things with me is for me to come to know Him and experience life His way. Sharing this knowledge and experience comes later. God has designed these messages for me and rather than taking what He is laying before me and holding tight to the part that He has chosen for me, I pick it all up and give it all away, leaving me empty-handed but feeling as if I accomplished something really worthwhile.
Now, it's all well and good to share what God has given you to share; but when you don't take anything for yourself and give it all away, you become burnt out and eventually are useless until you get refueled. It's like an old-fashioned oil lamp that can't burn anymore once it's empty of oil. This is the point where you have to make it a point to be refueling everyday to ensure you have what you need for the day. Taking time to yourself and not sharing what God is giving you sometimes is not being selfish or stingy. It is simply recognizing that every relationship requires equal give and take, and there are boundaries that say when enough has been taken without you being given anything more to work with.
I believe that this is something I need to discover with my blogging. As an example of the difference it can make, my journals for God and myself have a deep, raw, penetrative and truly beautiful writing about them. My blogs are good, too, but only the "journal" style blog posts are really all that. The rest of my blogs lack the luster they need to be truly captivating. But if I focus my time in the Word on God and what He wants to share with me, just like my journal, my blog posts will gain the richness and beauty that they deserve to possess. I hope that through their relevance to my life they will be exactly what a certain reader needed to see that day, therefore, inspired by God rather than the "notions of Kelly." I pray you recieve what the Lord has prepared for you today and would love to hear about what He's doing in your life in the comments below!
Realizing this really impacted me because I recognized that God's first goal in sharing things with me is for me to come to know Him and experience life His way. Sharing this knowledge and experience comes later. God has designed these messages for me and rather than taking what He is laying before me and holding tight to the part that He has chosen for me, I pick it all up and give it all away, leaving me empty-handed but feeling as if I accomplished something really worthwhile.
Now, it's all well and good to share what God has given you to share; but when you don't take anything for yourself and give it all away, you become burnt out and eventually are useless until you get refueled. It's like an old-fashioned oil lamp that can't burn anymore once it's empty of oil. This is the point where you have to make it a point to be refueling everyday to ensure you have what you need for the day. Taking time to yourself and not sharing what God is giving you sometimes is not being selfish or stingy. It is simply recognizing that every relationship requires equal give and take, and there are boundaries that say when enough has been taken without you being given anything more to work with.
I believe that this is something I need to discover with my blogging. As an example of the difference it can make, my journals for God and myself have a deep, raw, penetrative and truly beautiful writing about them. My blogs are good, too, but only the "journal" style blog posts are really all that. The rest of my blogs lack the luster they need to be truly captivating. But if I focus my time in the Word on God and what He wants to share with me, just like my journal, my blog posts will gain the richness and beauty that they deserve to possess. I hope that through their relevance to my life they will be exactly what a certain reader needed to see that day, therefore, inspired by God rather than the "notions of Kelly." I pray you recieve what the Lord has prepared for you today and would love to hear about what He's doing in your life in the comments below!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Lessons from a Dolphin
I am constantly amazed at how God uses such simple things in our everyday lives to prove that He is just here for us, no matter what. Last night I decided to brave my not feeling so great to go out with friends to the Falls Theater downtown River Falls to see Dolphin Tale. Who knew that a thing as simple as a children's movie meant purely for entertainment could have so much packed into it?
First, the movie's main character is an 11 year old boy, Sawyer, who has no friends, does poorly in school, and who has lost his father. The incredible way the screenwriters use this background in the plot has so much meaning to it. This boy is positioned for failure, living a hopeless life everyday, until he finds a dolphin (Winter) on the beach and gets to be involved in its rehabilitation. The transformation that takes place in this boy as he opens up to the dolphin is almost unbelievable. All of the sudden he is pouring his whole life into helping this animal recover. It gave him something to have hope for, a purpose for waking up everyday. What's more astonishing is how much Sawyer learns about himself during this process.
This kind of reminds me of the way God puts certain things - events, people, etc. - inot our lives to help us to become all He wants us to be. In this case, Sawyer found purpose to his life by helping Winter, and then helped Winter to help other people, like his cousin Kyle. Through all of this, Sawyer never gave up on Winter or on himself - he always believed she would get better. How many of us can say that we aren't going to give up when hard times come? And how many that say that actually follow through? A lot of times people just want to lay down and let the waves of life crash over them while they slowly drown. These challenges are put into our lives to make us stronger and help us to become the people God meant for us to be.
Another thing about Winter is that she never gave up on Sawyer. She has a way of communicating with him and got him to understand her, the same way that God figures out ways to comunicate with us. Winter helped Sawyer to feel and to experience the love that he was never able to find with anyone or anything else. God loves us the same way - like no other man or creature ever could. Through learning to love Winter, Sawyer learned to love those around him, especially his family, despite all the pain he had felt from them over the years. A big theme of this movie was that "family is forever." Sawyer discovered this with his own family and Winter. God wants us to discover the "foreverness"of His family. He wants us to experience His love and to allow that love to teach us how we should love others.
Lastly, this movie depicted the utter beauty and creativity of God. Through the opening scenes of the dolphins swimming in the ocean, we see God's splendor and majesty. Throughout the movie we see a glimpse of God's sense of humor as a part of Winter's personality. We see how God has created us to have relationships with animals, with each other, and with God, and how God uses those relationships in our own personal growth.
Besides this being a wonderful movie anyway, this movie blessed me because it gave subtle depictions of God's majesty, creativity and sovereignty. From that perspective, I would say it's definitely a movie to see, and also an opportunity to take a look at your own passions and give them new life again, all while witnessing some of God's greatest creativity and glory in action!
First, the movie's main character is an 11 year old boy, Sawyer, who has no friends, does poorly in school, and who has lost his father. The incredible way the screenwriters use this background in the plot has so much meaning to it. This boy is positioned for failure, living a hopeless life everyday, until he finds a dolphin (Winter) on the beach and gets to be involved in its rehabilitation. The transformation that takes place in this boy as he opens up to the dolphin is almost unbelievable. All of the sudden he is pouring his whole life into helping this animal recover. It gave him something to have hope for, a purpose for waking up everyday. What's more astonishing is how much Sawyer learns about himself during this process.
This kind of reminds me of the way God puts certain things - events, people, etc. - inot our lives to help us to become all He wants us to be. In this case, Sawyer found purpose to his life by helping Winter, and then helped Winter to help other people, like his cousin Kyle. Through all of this, Sawyer never gave up on Winter or on himself - he always believed she would get better. How many of us can say that we aren't going to give up when hard times come? And how many that say that actually follow through? A lot of times people just want to lay down and let the waves of life crash over them while they slowly drown. These challenges are put into our lives to make us stronger and help us to become the people God meant for us to be.
Another thing about Winter is that she never gave up on Sawyer. She has a way of communicating with him and got him to understand her, the same way that God figures out ways to comunicate with us. Winter helped Sawyer to feel and to experience the love that he was never able to find with anyone or anything else. God loves us the same way - like no other man or creature ever could. Through learning to love Winter, Sawyer learned to love those around him, especially his family, despite all the pain he had felt from them over the years. A big theme of this movie was that "family is forever." Sawyer discovered this with his own family and Winter. God wants us to discover the "foreverness"of His family. He wants us to experience His love and to allow that love to teach us how we should love others.
Lastly, this movie depicted the utter beauty and creativity of God. Through the opening scenes of the dolphins swimming in the ocean, we see God's splendor and majesty. Throughout the movie we see a glimpse of God's sense of humor as a part of Winter's personality. We see how God has created us to have relationships with animals, with each other, and with God, and how God uses those relationships in our own personal growth.
Besides this being a wonderful movie anyway, this movie blessed me because it gave subtle depictions of God's majesty, creativity and sovereignty. From that perspective, I would say it's definitely a movie to see, and also an opportunity to take a look at your own passions and give them new life again, all while witnessing some of God's greatest creativity and glory in action!
Monday, September 26, 2011
My Encounter with the Beatitudes
This week I spent a good deal of time taking a deep look at The Beatitudes, one of Jesus' most remembered teachings, from Matthew 5. First, I'll comment on the deeper meaning I found in the passage itself and then leave you with the charge that God gave me at the end of my time studying this scripture.
Matthew 5:1-12
3(D) "Blessed are(E) the poor in spirit, for(F) theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4"Blessed are(G) those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
5"Blessed are the(H) meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
6"Blessed are those who hunger and(I) thirst(J) for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
7"Blessed are(K) the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
8"Blessed are(L) the pure in heart, for(M) they shall see God.
9"Blessed are(N) the peacemakers, for(O) they shall be called(P) sons[a] of God.
10(Q) "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for(R) theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11(S) "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely(T) on my account. 12(U) Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for(V) so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
v3 - "poor in spirit" - those who recognize their need for God
v4 - Jesus came to comfort those who mourn, who have repented and are looking for a new beginning
v5 - Meek = recognizing our need for God through humility
v6 - when we are searching for God to fill us, He will fill us beyond satisfaction
v7 - when we show mercy to others, God is inclined to show mercy to us
v8 - purity of heart as such that we come to God with a child-like faith, desiring more of Him and not questioning His motives but trusting that He has our best interest in mind
v9 - we are called to minister the peace and love of the gospel to the world, bringing healing to those who need it
v10 - withstanding persecution brings about blessing; it is basically a guarantee that we will not be liked by those around us because of the message that we bring
Jesus has called me to:
Matthew 5:1-12
The Sermon on the Mount
1Seeing the crowds,(A) he went up on the mountain, and when he(B) sat down, his disciples came to him.The Beatitudes
2And(C) he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:3(D) "Blessed are(E) the poor in spirit, for(F) theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4"Blessed are(G) those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
5"Blessed are the(H) meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
6"Blessed are those who hunger and(I) thirst(J) for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
7"Blessed are(K) the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
8"Blessed are(L) the pure in heart, for(M) they shall see God.
9"Blessed are(N) the peacemakers, for(O) they shall be called(P) sons[a] of God.
10(Q) "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for(R) theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11(S) "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely(T) on my account. 12(U) Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for(V) so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
v3 - "poor in spirit" - those who recognize their need for God
v4 - Jesus came to comfort those who mourn, who have repented and are looking for a new beginning
v5 - Meek = recognizing our need for God through humility
v6 - when we are searching for God to fill us, He will fill us beyond satisfaction
v7 - when we show mercy to others, God is inclined to show mercy to us
v8 - purity of heart as such that we come to God with a child-like faith, desiring more of Him and not questioning His motives but trusting that He has our best interest in mind
v9 - we are called to minister the peace and love of the gospel to the world, bringing healing to those who need it
v10 - withstanding persecution brings about blessing; it is basically a guarantee that we will not be liked by those around us because of the message that we bring
Jesus has called me to:
- recognize my need for Him
- ask Him for repentance and find comfort in His salvation
- come to Him humbly adn seek His face to be fulfilled
- show His mercy to those around me
- approach Him with the heart of a child, putting off all my doubts and worries to allow Him to cleanse me of my impurities
- bring the peace of His gospel to the world with my life as a witness to His glory
- and withstand persecution for the sake of His name, knowing that ultimately He will be glorified and bless me in return.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
All Put Together... Really?
It's crazy what happens when you realize that a person that you could not imgaine having problems all of the sudden reveals to you all the things that go wrong in their lives. It's easy to make a person out to have everything together, even when you know they don't. Almost like a "don't ask, don't tell" type thing, or "out of sight, out of mind." I've been told recently that this is how some of my friends view me - the ones that don't know my history and haven't been close enough to me to experience my struggles with me. I've been on both sides of this, thinking that a friend or classmate of mine has it all together, and being the one that appears to have it all together to everyone else looking in. Truth is, no one has it all together, and when we come to realize this, it makes us love the people in our lives even deeper, in the way that God loves them.
As I'm thinking about this I'm reminded of a good friend and classmate I had in high school. She came to our school in freshman year and seemed like she was instantly loved by all. At first I refused to get to know her too much because I had been there my whole life and never had anywhere near that much attention. Gradually, I came to respect her a little more each year because she was a pretty nice person; but I always kind of had the idea that nothing ever went wrong for her. She gave the appearance that things were always peachy in her little world. Her parents were happy, she had a great family life, she wasn't super rich, but she wasn't almost on the streets, and she was a decently nice person. It wasn't until an encounter I had with her during senior year that I recognized that she experienced all the same human emotions and struggles that we all do. I knew in the back of my mind that she dealt with things - everyone does - but because those things were never exposed and she kept up appearances, it was easy to assume and act as if nothing ever happened to make her life hard.
In senior year we were required to give Senior Speeches, a sort of testimony of what we've experienced God do in our own lives as a way to share our faith. Right before writing her speech, she and I had a decently deep conversation about life and God, and I shared with her some of my struggles, mainly because she asked. But I didn't ask her about her own struggles because I felt like she wouldn't really be able to relate to me anyway. A few weeks later, though, she gave her senior speech in front of the entire school as one of the finalists. In her speech she talked very vulnerably about the struggles she had, especially before coming to our school, and how those struggles affected who she decided to be when she switched schools. And to my surprise, she even took pieces of our conversation and shared them anonymously in her speech to help make her point. At that moment, I realized how much this girl cared for me and how similar we were because she struggled too and we both had mastered the ability to hide our problems from the public eye. As soon as I knew she was talking about me in her speech, my heart melted, I lost any sort of bitterness and jealousy I held toward her, and to this day am so thankful that she is in my life.
I guess you could say that when we are told not to judge a book by its cover, it really is wise advice, because there is no way for us to know what another person could be struggling with. This kind of goes for the things we say and do to others too - without even realizing it, one word out of our mouth could be the last thing it takes to cause a seemingly happy person to fall into deep inner turmoil. And who knows, when you step back and realize that everyone is struggling, just in their own way, it makes us all a little more human and can open up great opportunities for dear friendships that God has inspired.
As I'm thinking about this I'm reminded of a good friend and classmate I had in high school. She came to our school in freshman year and seemed like she was instantly loved by all. At first I refused to get to know her too much because I had been there my whole life and never had anywhere near that much attention. Gradually, I came to respect her a little more each year because she was a pretty nice person; but I always kind of had the idea that nothing ever went wrong for her. She gave the appearance that things were always peachy in her little world. Her parents were happy, she had a great family life, she wasn't super rich, but she wasn't almost on the streets, and she was a decently nice person. It wasn't until an encounter I had with her during senior year that I recognized that she experienced all the same human emotions and struggles that we all do. I knew in the back of my mind that she dealt with things - everyone does - but because those things were never exposed and she kept up appearances, it was easy to assume and act as if nothing ever happened to make her life hard.
In senior year we were required to give Senior Speeches, a sort of testimony of what we've experienced God do in our own lives as a way to share our faith. Right before writing her speech, she and I had a decently deep conversation about life and God, and I shared with her some of my struggles, mainly because she asked. But I didn't ask her about her own struggles because I felt like she wouldn't really be able to relate to me anyway. A few weeks later, though, she gave her senior speech in front of the entire school as one of the finalists. In her speech she talked very vulnerably about the struggles she had, especially before coming to our school, and how those struggles affected who she decided to be when she switched schools. And to my surprise, she even took pieces of our conversation and shared them anonymously in her speech to help make her point. At that moment, I realized how much this girl cared for me and how similar we were because she struggled too and we both had mastered the ability to hide our problems from the public eye. As soon as I knew she was talking about me in her speech, my heart melted, I lost any sort of bitterness and jealousy I held toward her, and to this day am so thankful that she is in my life.
I guess you could say that when we are told not to judge a book by its cover, it really is wise advice, because there is no way for us to know what another person could be struggling with. This kind of goes for the things we say and do to others too - without even realizing it, one word out of our mouth could be the last thing it takes to cause a seemingly happy person to fall into deep inner turmoil. And who knows, when you step back and realize that everyone is struggling, just in their own way, it makes us all a little more human and can open up great opportunities for dear friendships that God has inspired.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Loving Uncontrollably: My Thoughts on Exerpts from Romans 12:1-13 MSG
This passage exites me! I want to pick it apart a little bit and share with you little pieces at a time and show you what God has been teaching me through it the past couple of days.
First:
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.
My comments: I love that this directly addresses our call to ministry and living the life of a witness at all times. I think it kind of hints that all Christians are called to ministry, but all of our roles in ministry will be different: some of us will be helpers, some pastors, some caregivers, some secretaries, but we all have a crucial role to play and we cannot be successful if we're constantly looking at other's positions or talents and wishing we were them. Instead we need to be confident in how God made us individually and do our best to put our whole selves into what He has given us to do.
9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
My comments: In the same way taht we are to be confident in our purpose, it is also our job to build each other up, give encouragement in teh hard times, and have each other's backs. We are responsible to make sure that we are being refueled, but also that our teammates are getting what they need. It's never all take and no give, but as the passage said, "love from the center of who you are,"we are to selflessly offer what God has been fueling us with to those who need it and rely on God to refuel us again. It also can't be constantly giving with no take because that is when we burn ou and are no longer effective in spreading God's love and His Word. That is where the team comes in to help rebuild someone who is too drained to take the initiative themself.
I have by no means arrived at this place of not comparing myself, loving always, etc. But God is doing His work in my life to transform me into the person He desires in three ways:
1. He is drawing me much closer to Himself and making our relationship much more personal and intimate.
2. He is working to make me more outwardly oriented, cleaning up my selfishness (which I have struggled with a long time), and turning it into an ability to love others.
3. He is showing me what matter most in life, which is not what our worldly society tends to tell us, but rather showing His love to the people who need it most.
The ultimate goal of God's transforming my life is that we become more like Christ. Christ, in essence, loved people uncontrollably and lived every moment of His life on earth in a way that purposed to glorify His Father and spread God's love and Word to others. When we examine our purpose, then, this basically describes it: we were created to be a true reflection of Christ, to love every person alive uncontrollably and unconditionally. This isn't easy, it sometimes hurts, and it can cost us a lot, but in my experience, there is nothing more worth it than to experience the love of God making a change in a person's life that is going to last for an eternity.
First:
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.
My comments: I love that this directly addresses our call to ministry and living the life of a witness at all times. I think it kind of hints that all Christians are called to ministry, but all of our roles in ministry will be different: some of us will be helpers, some pastors, some caregivers, some secretaries, but we all have a crucial role to play and we cannot be successful if we're constantly looking at other's positions or talents and wishing we were them. Instead we need to be confident in how God made us individually and do our best to put our whole selves into what He has given us to do.
9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
My comments: In the same way taht we are to be confident in our purpose, it is also our job to build each other up, give encouragement in teh hard times, and have each other's backs. We are responsible to make sure that we are being refueled, but also that our teammates are getting what they need. It's never all take and no give, but as the passage said, "love from the center of who you are,"we are to selflessly offer what God has been fueling us with to those who need it and rely on God to refuel us again. It also can't be constantly giving with no take because that is when we burn ou and are no longer effective in spreading God's love and His Word. That is where the team comes in to help rebuild someone who is too drained to take the initiative themself.
I have by no means arrived at this place of not comparing myself, loving always, etc. But God is doing His work in my life to transform me into the person He desires in three ways:
1. He is drawing me much closer to Himself and making our relationship much more personal and intimate.
2. He is working to make me more outwardly oriented, cleaning up my selfishness (which I have struggled with a long time), and turning it into an ability to love others.
3. He is showing me what matter most in life, which is not what our worldly society tends to tell us, but rather showing His love to the people who need it most.
The ultimate goal of God's transforming my life is that we become more like Christ. Christ, in essence, loved people uncontrollably and lived every moment of His life on earth in a way that purposed to glorify His Father and spread God's love and Word to others. When we examine our purpose, then, this basically describes it: we were created to be a true reflection of Christ, to love every person alive uncontrollably and unconditionally. This isn't easy, it sometimes hurts, and it can cost us a lot, but in my experience, there is nothing more worth it than to experience the love of God making a change in a person's life that is going to last for an eternity.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Burning Love - Topics on the Love of the Father
"Love burns bright enough to compel us, but hot enough to keep us humble." from "Finding Yourself in 'Love'" by Myles Werntz
There is something about love that draws us toward it. It causes us to do things we wouldn't otherwise do and encourages us to pursue it; but love also has a refining quality aobut it, meant to burn away our imperfections and make us our best. This quality leads us to finding humility because we realize that our best would not be present without a little bit of pain to draw it out of us.
Love is something that completes our human existance, makes us feel needed, and gives us an expression of the need we have for another person. It makes us feel esteem for ourselves and others. This craving for love that all humankind experiences is something that God designed within each one of us with the purpose of creating meaningful relationships with others and Himself. God has ways of fulfiling this craving with His own love and by placing people in our lives that show us His love in their own way.
What are three crazy things that love has compelled you to do? Leave your answers in the comment section!
1. Spend an entire evening talking to 2 International Students about everything from the American tradition of s'mores around the campfire to the most intricate details of our lives as Christians. This was such an encouraging experience for me and I learned first-hand how simple the love of God is.
2. Becoming involved as a leader on campus through the Freshman Orientation Program here at UW-River Falls. Not only did I get to impact a group of students new to campus as we spent three days together, but my relationships with them and the other orientation leaers continue to grow in the love of Christ as we discover more about each other and our own faith.
3. Stay out of a dating relationship out of love and respect to the man, myself, and both of our relationships with God. I know that dating is a huge part of the American culture, but I have chosen to wait until God leads me into my one and only relationship because I know His timing is perfect and His love will sustain me as I wait patiently on Him. I have chosen this path because I believe that God should be the center of any relationship I have, but especially a romantic one, so I want both of our hearts to be prepared by God and our relationships to be solid in Him before we begin our lives together.
Loving shapes our entire purpose because it is how we can universally communicate who God is and His love for us to anyone and everyone. As I prepare to work in the mental health field, love is becoming something I value more than anything else. It goes a long way in a patient's treatment. Being loved brings self-esteem and a lot of encouragement, knowing there is someone behind you all the time to support you no matter what. God's love in my life and it's ability to work through me is what gives me the confidence to follow what God has planned for my life.
There is something about love that draws us toward it. It causes us to do things we wouldn't otherwise do and encourages us to pursue it; but love also has a refining quality aobut it, meant to burn away our imperfections and make us our best. This quality leads us to finding humility because we realize that our best would not be present without a little bit of pain to draw it out of us.
Love is something that completes our human existance, makes us feel needed, and gives us an expression of the need we have for another person. It makes us feel esteem for ourselves and others. This craving for love that all humankind experiences is something that God designed within each one of us with the purpose of creating meaningful relationships with others and Himself. God has ways of fulfiling this craving with His own love and by placing people in our lives that show us His love in their own way.
What are three crazy things that love has compelled you to do? Leave your answers in the comment section!
1. Spend an entire evening talking to 2 International Students about everything from the American tradition of s'mores around the campfire to the most intricate details of our lives as Christians. This was such an encouraging experience for me and I learned first-hand how simple the love of God is.
2. Becoming involved as a leader on campus through the Freshman Orientation Program here at UW-River Falls. Not only did I get to impact a group of students new to campus as we spent three days together, but my relationships with them and the other orientation leaers continue to grow in the love of Christ as we discover more about each other and our own faith.
3. Stay out of a dating relationship out of love and respect to the man, myself, and both of our relationships with God. I know that dating is a huge part of the American culture, but I have chosen to wait until God leads me into my one and only relationship because I know His timing is perfect and His love will sustain me as I wait patiently on Him. I have chosen this path because I believe that God should be the center of any relationship I have, but especially a romantic one, so I want both of our hearts to be prepared by God and our relationships to be solid in Him before we begin our lives together.
Monday, May 2, 2011
A Prayer for a Friend
Dearest Lord,
You have created us to be relational beings with the ultimate intention being to establish a relationship with You. As a part of that You have given us friends to encourage us in our walk with You and to be a person with whom we can share our burdens. You have blessed me with an incredible amount of friendship, and I want to lift one of those dearest friends to you right now.
Lord, I don't really know where she stands with You right now, and it's not my place to judge that in any way; but, Lord, I aks that you continue to show Yourself strong and mighty in her life. God, I ask that she would experience You on a daily basis, knowing that You are present and working in her life. If things in her life seem to be falling apart, I pray that she would find her strength in You. If they seem as perfect as they could be, I pray that she would still seek Your face and know that nothing exists or occurs without Your hand being in it.
I thank You, Lord, for what she has been as a friend to me. I only pray that I can do the same for her and that together we can grow in our faith in You. I pray that You would open her to me and allow her to tell me when things are not ok and to allow us to share in one another's triumphs and failures, glorifying You alone in all that we do.
Lord, remind her today of the love that You have for her and also of the love I have for her, even though it is nothing in comparison to Yours. Lift her above any threat of the evil one that may try to conquer her and renew her strength by Your spirit.
In Your Name,
Amen
You have created us to be relational beings with the ultimate intention being to establish a relationship with You. As a part of that You have given us friends to encourage us in our walk with You and to be a person with whom we can share our burdens. You have blessed me with an incredible amount of friendship, and I want to lift one of those dearest friends to you right now.
Lord, I don't really know where she stands with You right now, and it's not my place to judge that in any way; but, Lord, I aks that you continue to show Yourself strong and mighty in her life. God, I ask that she would experience You on a daily basis, knowing that You are present and working in her life. If things in her life seem to be falling apart, I pray that she would find her strength in You. If they seem as perfect as they could be, I pray that she would still seek Your face and know that nothing exists or occurs without Your hand being in it.
I thank You, Lord, for what she has been as a friend to me. I only pray that I can do the same for her and that together we can grow in our faith in You. I pray that You would open her to me and allow her to tell me when things are not ok and to allow us to share in one another's triumphs and failures, glorifying You alone in all that we do.
Lord, remind her today of the love that You have for her and also of the love I have for her, even though it is nothing in comparison to Yours. Lift her above any threat of the evil one that may try to conquer her and renew her strength by Your spirit.
In Your Name,
Amen
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
My Spiritual Eating Disorder
This past summer I was faced with the harsh reality that one of my very best high school friends was suffering from an eating disorder. At first it didn’t seem real – she was so good at covering it all up. I knew something was up – all the signs were there – but she kept on living life the way I had always remembered. In the fall after graduation, after we had all dispersed to our respective colleges, was when things started noticeably falling apart. After a few months, around Christmas, she finally started
seeking out real help. It wasn’t long after that she told me she would be moving into an inpatient treatment center for her eating disorder and related complications. Even then, though, the whole situation didn’t seem completely real or as complicated as it was. It seemed like all it would take was a
quick-fix, 3-month stint in treatment and everything would be back to normal again. It wasn’t until four months after she moved into the Anna Westin House that things started to click for me. I visited her at AWH for the first time on April 10th. It had been a solid 4 months, if not longer, since we had seen each other, and I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Would she look better? Worse? Would she be the same incredible friend I had come to love so much in high school? I got to the house and still everything felt so surreal. The place didn’t look or feel like a treatment center, at least not to me. The other girls there were (or at least looked like) perfectly normal, fun-loving girls, about my age. You would never know most of them had a problem if you saw them outside of the treatment center. It wasn’t until a couple of days after I had visited that the reality of this disease really began to hit me. I had been processing all the things I saw, heard and experienced on my visit to AWH, and the realities of my friend’s eating disorder started to make sense. My heart went out to the girls I met there, especially my own dear friend, but I think the reason I really felt compelled to visit her was so that God could really use her situation to help me understand one in my own life. In all the ways that a person with anorexia or bulimia experiences physical consequences of their disease, it is possible for someone to experience a spiritual eating disorder. I have seen the natural effects of an eating disorder firsthand, and through that experience, God has shown me that I, too, have an eating disorder – a spiritual one.
You may be asking what I could possibly mean by that. Let me see if I can explain this in a way that makes sense outside of my head as much as it makes sense within it. When a person has an eating disorder, it usually stems from them being unhappy with some part of their life, whether it be what
they look like, their lack of control over certain situations, or a number of other reasons. In a spiritual eating disorder, I think a lack of control is often the driving factor. It is hard to hand over one’s entire life to an invisible Creator whom we only believe in by this obscure feeling of assurance we call faith. When something feels as out-of-reach as that, we often look for something tangible to place our trust in, and a lot of times we find that thing to be ourselves. Sometimes it can be fear, too, that leads us to a place of not knowing what else to do, so we start to take matters into our own hands. We may also feel a sense of pride, arrogance or selfishness, like “I know how to handle this and I don’t really care how things happen as long as they turn out the way it seems to me that they should.” In any sense, some underlying factor, different for every individual, can drive us to a sort of spiritual eating disorder.
What does this spiritual eating disorder look like, then?
Well, think about a natural eating disorder. When someone has anorexia, they have made a conscious decision to restrict the food they eat, in quantity, quality, and numerous other ways. They may supplement with vitamins or diet pills that would make them not feel hungry or would sort of replace the nutrients they are lacking by not eating. In a spiritual sense, someone might decide to starve themselves of their time with God and His Word, possibly thinking they don’t need it right now, they can handle things on their own, or that they don’t feel it working anyway so why bother. They find ways to replace this time: being with friends that seem to have a positive influence, reading books,
watching movies or listening to music that makes them feel satisfied or healthy about what they’re doing, etc. As this goes on, the person becomes numb to the feeling of hunger that their spirit once had for the Word of God, and they lose interest in even considering feeding it.
In my case, the thought of feeding my spirit the Word of God became something that made me actually physically ill. I would think about going to Bible study or having a quiet time and I would get shaky, nauseated, nervous, and start to panic about it. It was miserable. It doesn’t stop there, though. Someone can have spiritual bulimia just as much as they can anorexia. With bulimia, one binges on all the things they’ve been going without until they have eaten so much they feel guilty and so they find a way to purge it. This works the same with spiritual bulimia. One can go a long time without feeding their spirit the Word and then experience a time of spiritual bingeing where it seems like they just cannot get enough. However, after they have binged they feel ashamed and weak for having given in and not remaining in control of the situation on their own. To make up for it, they purge, in any way they possibly can, in hopes that they can remove everything from themselves that causes them to feel guilt, shame, remorse or weakness. Physically this is done using practices such as making oneself throw up, taking laxatives, and a number of other ways. Spiritually, one purges the Word they have put into their spirits in much the same way that they “replace” the missing nutrients with spiritual
anorexia. Listening to secular music, reading secular books, spending time with the wrong crowd and in general denying anything that God may bring to mind to deal with are some ways that someone may spiritually purge. I have noticed this pattern in my own life, as well. I have a period of spiritual ‘high’ where I am on top of the world, nothing can touch me, and I am allowing God to show me some incredible facets to who He is and what He has in store for my life; but then something happens,
sometimes unidentifiable, that causes me to rid myself of any trace of my time spent with God and I go back to starving my spirit of the One thing it needs most of all.
The main mistake we make is to view coming to God as a weakness. The truth is, God wants us to come to Him. He created humans to have a sense of need for relationship, a need to rely on others and to not carry our burden alone. He fulfills this need by way of the people he places in our life as friends, parents, teachers, and significant others; but He also desires for this need to be met by way of a personal relationship we experience with Him. He knows our hearts deeper than anyone else and He understands what we are going through. Hebrews 4:14-16 tells us that Jesus was tempted and understood weakness just the same as we experience, and therefore He sympathizes with us, giving us the strength to come boldly to the Father any time. God knows our need, He knows where we came from, and He wants to be the solution to our every problem. We have to know, as humans, that it is our tendency to want to have control in most every situation, especially the ones where we could be
positively or negatively affected by the outcome. It is also very hard to accept love from and trust a Creator that we don’t think did a satisfactory job when He made us. This makes trusting God and coming to Him even more challenging; but God wants us to know and experience a part of Him that only we, as an individual, can experience for ourselves. He wants to reveal Himself to each of us in a
way that only we understand, and remind us of His everlasting love for us, proven by the work of Jesus on the cross. In order for this to occur, though, we have to open ourselves to His intentions in our lives, understand that His plans are far better than our own, and accept that our having control is not the best thing for the situation. Then and only then, can God begin a work in our lives that will transform us forever.
The treatment for this spiritual eating disorder, like a physical one, is not an easy process. It is slow, agonizing, painful, and often seems absolutely impossible; but, like a physical eating disorder, God wants to do a work of healing in our hearts. When we turn our focus back to Him, things begin to change. We can find help in going to spiritual leaders that have experience with this sort of thing themselves for help and guidance, but ultimately it is up to us to make the changes and have an effective treatment. There are all sorts of therapies, just like in physical eating disorders. There’s music therapy through spending time in praise and worship. There is art therapy by looking at the incredible creation God has laid out before us – we can even use it as inspiration to paint, draw, journal, or just as a way to experience God in a more tangible way. There is physical therapy through getting your spirit back out there into the game and working hard at your quiet times or Bible study.
Bible study also works great as a sort of group therapy, all of us coming together and sharing our strengths and weaknesses to help one another overcome their own situation. There are countless other ways that God provides therapy for our spiritual eating disorders that parallel the treatment for physical ones. Granted, there are going to be a lot of days when our treatment is the absolute last thing we want, but we have to force ourselves to persevere because those who do are the ones that win the race and receive the ultimate prize of eternal life in Christ.
seeking out real help. It wasn’t long after that she told me she would be moving into an inpatient treatment center for her eating disorder and related complications. Even then, though, the whole situation didn’t seem completely real or as complicated as it was. It seemed like all it would take was a
quick-fix, 3-month stint in treatment and everything would be back to normal again. It wasn’t until four months after she moved into the Anna Westin House that things started to click for me. I visited her at AWH for the first time on April 10th. It had been a solid 4 months, if not longer, since we had seen each other, and I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Would she look better? Worse? Would she be the same incredible friend I had come to love so much in high school? I got to the house and still everything felt so surreal. The place didn’t look or feel like a treatment center, at least not to me. The other girls there were (or at least looked like) perfectly normal, fun-loving girls, about my age. You would never know most of them had a problem if you saw them outside of the treatment center. It wasn’t until a couple of days after I had visited that the reality of this disease really began to hit me. I had been processing all the things I saw, heard and experienced on my visit to AWH, and the realities of my friend’s eating disorder started to make sense. My heart went out to the girls I met there, especially my own dear friend, but I think the reason I really felt compelled to visit her was so that God could really use her situation to help me understand one in my own life. In all the ways that a person with anorexia or bulimia experiences physical consequences of their disease, it is possible for someone to experience a spiritual eating disorder. I have seen the natural effects of an eating disorder firsthand, and through that experience, God has shown me that I, too, have an eating disorder – a spiritual one.
You may be asking what I could possibly mean by that. Let me see if I can explain this in a way that makes sense outside of my head as much as it makes sense within it. When a person has an eating disorder, it usually stems from them being unhappy with some part of their life, whether it be what
they look like, their lack of control over certain situations, or a number of other reasons. In a spiritual eating disorder, I think a lack of control is often the driving factor. It is hard to hand over one’s entire life to an invisible Creator whom we only believe in by this obscure feeling of assurance we call faith. When something feels as out-of-reach as that, we often look for something tangible to place our trust in, and a lot of times we find that thing to be ourselves. Sometimes it can be fear, too, that leads us to a place of not knowing what else to do, so we start to take matters into our own hands. We may also feel a sense of pride, arrogance or selfishness, like “I know how to handle this and I don’t really care how things happen as long as they turn out the way it seems to me that they should.” In any sense, some underlying factor, different for every individual, can drive us to a sort of spiritual eating disorder.
What does this spiritual eating disorder look like, then?
Well, think about a natural eating disorder. When someone has anorexia, they have made a conscious decision to restrict the food they eat, in quantity, quality, and numerous other ways. They may supplement with vitamins or diet pills that would make them not feel hungry or would sort of replace the nutrients they are lacking by not eating. In a spiritual sense, someone might decide to starve themselves of their time with God and His Word, possibly thinking they don’t need it right now, they can handle things on their own, or that they don’t feel it working anyway so why bother. They find ways to replace this time: being with friends that seem to have a positive influence, reading books,
watching movies or listening to music that makes them feel satisfied or healthy about what they’re doing, etc. As this goes on, the person becomes numb to the feeling of hunger that their spirit once had for the Word of God, and they lose interest in even considering feeding it.
In my case, the thought of feeding my spirit the Word of God became something that made me actually physically ill. I would think about going to Bible study or having a quiet time and I would get shaky, nauseated, nervous, and start to panic about it. It was miserable. It doesn’t stop there, though. Someone can have spiritual bulimia just as much as they can anorexia. With bulimia, one binges on all the things they’ve been going without until they have eaten so much they feel guilty and so they find a way to purge it. This works the same with spiritual bulimia. One can go a long time without feeding their spirit the Word and then experience a time of spiritual bingeing where it seems like they just cannot get enough. However, after they have binged they feel ashamed and weak for having given in and not remaining in control of the situation on their own. To make up for it, they purge, in any way they possibly can, in hopes that they can remove everything from themselves that causes them to feel guilt, shame, remorse or weakness. Physically this is done using practices such as making oneself throw up, taking laxatives, and a number of other ways. Spiritually, one purges the Word they have put into their spirits in much the same way that they “replace” the missing nutrients with spiritual
anorexia. Listening to secular music, reading secular books, spending time with the wrong crowd and in general denying anything that God may bring to mind to deal with are some ways that someone may spiritually purge. I have noticed this pattern in my own life, as well. I have a period of spiritual ‘high’ where I am on top of the world, nothing can touch me, and I am allowing God to show me some incredible facets to who He is and what He has in store for my life; but then something happens,
sometimes unidentifiable, that causes me to rid myself of any trace of my time spent with God and I go back to starving my spirit of the One thing it needs most of all.
The main mistake we make is to view coming to God as a weakness. The truth is, God wants us to come to Him. He created humans to have a sense of need for relationship, a need to rely on others and to not carry our burden alone. He fulfills this need by way of the people he places in our life as friends, parents, teachers, and significant others; but He also desires for this need to be met by way of a personal relationship we experience with Him. He knows our hearts deeper than anyone else and He understands what we are going through. Hebrews 4:14-16 tells us that Jesus was tempted and understood weakness just the same as we experience, and therefore He sympathizes with us, giving us the strength to come boldly to the Father any time. God knows our need, He knows where we came from, and He wants to be the solution to our every problem. We have to know, as humans, that it is our tendency to want to have control in most every situation, especially the ones where we could be
positively or negatively affected by the outcome. It is also very hard to accept love from and trust a Creator that we don’t think did a satisfactory job when He made us. This makes trusting God and coming to Him even more challenging; but God wants us to know and experience a part of Him that only we, as an individual, can experience for ourselves. He wants to reveal Himself to each of us in a
way that only we understand, and remind us of His everlasting love for us, proven by the work of Jesus on the cross. In order for this to occur, though, we have to open ourselves to His intentions in our lives, understand that His plans are far better than our own, and accept that our having control is not the best thing for the situation. Then and only then, can God begin a work in our lives that will transform us forever.
The treatment for this spiritual eating disorder, like a physical one, is not an easy process. It is slow, agonizing, painful, and often seems absolutely impossible; but, like a physical eating disorder, God wants to do a work of healing in our hearts. When we turn our focus back to Him, things begin to change. We can find help in going to spiritual leaders that have experience with this sort of thing themselves for help and guidance, but ultimately it is up to us to make the changes and have an effective treatment. There are all sorts of therapies, just like in physical eating disorders. There’s music therapy through spending time in praise and worship. There is art therapy by looking at the incredible creation God has laid out before us – we can even use it as inspiration to paint, draw, journal, or just as a way to experience God in a more tangible way. There is physical therapy through getting your spirit back out there into the game and working hard at your quiet times or Bible study.
Bible study also works great as a sort of group therapy, all of us coming together and sharing our strengths and weaknesses to help one another overcome their own situation. There are countless other ways that God provides therapy for our spiritual eating disorders that parallel the treatment for physical ones. Granted, there are going to be a lot of days when our treatment is the absolute last thing we want, but we have to force ourselves to persevere because those who do are the ones that win the race and receive the ultimate prize of eternal life in Christ.
Friday, April 1, 2011
My Spirit is Sick
This morning the Lord was telling me His take on why I wasn’t feeling so up to par this week. It was one of those weeks where you just don’t feel like doing anything, nothing really gets you motivated, and (oh no, don’t say it!) you don’t even really care to spend time with God. I was definitely feeling down and I really didn’t have much of a good reason, but then God got my attention and shared this with me:
My Spirit is sick and I had made it this way by filling my mind and heart with things not of God. That is why I felt such a longing for Him at the beginning of the week – my Spirit knew what it needed to get itself back to health. God equated it to when my physical body gets sick. The first day you’re sick, you know it – you feel way worse that day than most of the rest and you tend to “milk it” a lot more that first day out. Then, the next couple of days you start coming to accept that you are indeed sick and start sort of nursing yourself back to health, or dealing with it at least. You self-medicate or go to the doctor – the natural way of dealing with it. Then you just let your body rest and heal without asking too much of it.
The same goes for when your spirit is sick – the first day you feel miserable. You might be depressed, tired, crabby or down and things just seem like they’re not quite right. You may decide to just wallow in it, or you may decide to take action early. The second day you start to accept it, but here is where it can get quite dangerous. If you let it just keep going here, the sickness is just going to get worse and worse; but if you take action now you will get it under control.
So how do you take action? Spending time in the Word, praying, being in the presence of God (especially when you don’t feel like being there) is the best way for us to do our part in the natural. Then God joins us with His supernatural power (like His healing for our natural bodies) and He takes care of the rest and gets our spirit back to health and in shape to do His work.
I would urge you that if you are feeling this way, find time to spend with God and really let Him into your heart to heal the broken places. If you don’t think you can do this by yourself, find a close friend who is a strong Christian, a leader/pastor in your church, or email us and we’ll help you connect with someone or with us. Having another person helping you and encouraging you in your walk with God is fundamental to your success as a Christian. God loves you and He wants your spirit to be healthy so that you can share His love with everyone around you!
My Spirit is sick and I had made it this way by filling my mind and heart with things not of God. That is why I felt such a longing for Him at the beginning of the week – my Spirit knew what it needed to get itself back to health. God equated it to when my physical body gets sick. The first day you’re sick, you know it – you feel way worse that day than most of the rest and you tend to “milk it” a lot more that first day out. Then, the next couple of days you start coming to accept that you are indeed sick and start sort of nursing yourself back to health, or dealing with it at least. You self-medicate or go to the doctor – the natural way of dealing with it. Then you just let your body rest and heal without asking too much of it.
The same goes for when your spirit is sick – the first day you feel miserable. You might be depressed, tired, crabby or down and things just seem like they’re not quite right. You may decide to just wallow in it, or you may decide to take action early. The second day you start to accept it, but here is where it can get quite dangerous. If you let it just keep going here, the sickness is just going to get worse and worse; but if you take action now you will get it under control.
So how do you take action? Spending time in the Word, praying, being in the presence of God (especially when you don’t feel like being there) is the best way for us to do our part in the natural. Then God joins us with His supernatural power (like His healing for our natural bodies) and He takes care of the rest and gets our spirit back to health and in shape to do His work.
I would urge you that if you are feeling this way, find time to spend with God and really let Him into your heart to heal the broken places. If you don’t think you can do this by yourself, find a close friend who is a strong Christian, a leader/pastor in your church, or email us and we’ll help you connect with someone or with us. Having another person helping you and encouraging you in your walk with God is fundamental to your success as a Christian. God loves you and He wants your spirit to be healthy so that you can share His love with everyone around you!
Monday, March 28, 2011
To Just Be
Right now I just really want to curl up in my Daddy's arms and feel the warmth and comfort of His sweet embrace. I want to just be there, Him holding me, the two of us alone where I know nothing can happen to me, no one can take away what I feel, and all is perfect with the world because my Daddy is holding me in His arms. I want to become like a little girl again when I knew that nothing I could do was by my own strength, whend I did not yet understand what pride was and had too much of it to ask for help. I want to become like a little girl again in knowing that nothing that happens can take away the feelings - the love - between my Daddy and me, and that whenever I am feeling down or tired or just want to be, I can come sit in His lap and He will just hold me, whisper in my ear, kiss my face, rub my back, and remind me of just how much He loves every ounce of my being. That is where I want to be right now. I long for it so much that I can hardly wait until I can get to my place alone and just be with Him in whatever way it pleases Him to be with me.
"Well, He is! Can't you see Him?"
My very best friend told me today that she loves that when I talk about God, I talk about Him as if He is right there next to me, talking to me like anyone else would. When she said that I responded somewhat cynically saying, "Well, He is! Can't you see Him?" I poitned to the empty seat to the right of me at our table. As I said it jokingly, I realized how true it is - I really do feel as if He is literally with me all the time. My friend went on to ask how I could know and feel with such confidence, and it took me a little while to describe it. I answered her in the best way I could, even though it's not something you can really understand until you've experienced it for yourself. As best as I could, I explained that it had taken a long time for me to get here; I definitely don't feel like I have arrived. For a more tangible example, I told her how I view God as if He's a real, tangible being instead of this far, out-there, untouchable Someone who we have to treat as this Lord over us all the time. I don't mean that we can disrespect Him and treat Him as if He is no different from us, but He does want us to be real with Him, show our raw emotions, even if it may mean yelling at Him or arguing with Him. As much as God is my Lord and I worship Him, He is also my Heavenly Father and the Lover who has caputured my heart so that it cannot escape. He desires my touch as much as I desire His, and He is so jealous for my heart. He wants all of me and I want nothing more than for Him to have all of me. That's a really hard thing to do sometimes - give your entire self over to God's control and have that kind of trust - but it's also something that is meant to take time.
Trust is a process. Some people are more quick to trust than others, but all in all, no one trusts someone completely the instant they meet them. In fact, more often than not that trust takes years to get ot that level of trusting someone with one's life, giving them complete control. Over the years of knowing God, it started out as a lot of talk with most of the action stemming from following the lead and expectations of others; but the more you say and act one way the more you start to believe that way, and the more you believe the more you start to really feel that way passionately. As I've spent my time discovering who God is the more I desire to know Him and feel Him close to me. It's similar to when you find that one person who is meant to be with you forever (not that I've experienced that yet, but this is how my friend explained it). As you first met that person you may have felt drawn to them or you "liked" them. Now as you've spent the time to really get to know them you start wanting to know them more. That is how I have come to feel this way about God. I kind of feel like the psalmist David in my pursuit for God's constant presence in my life.
There are many times that I feel God very tangibly. I've learned to distinguish His voice from all the rest and I have experienced Him walking right by my side and even taking my hand in His as we walk together. It's a little bit like God takes me on dates as a means of helping me get to know Him more.
Back to my comment of God being right next to me. Can't she see Him? Well, naturally, the answer is no; but think about that for a second. It's always said that Christians will be known by their love. So isn't it natural (or rather supernatural) to expect that she really can see His love in me so much that it is as if He is sitting right there?
Trust is a process. Some people are more quick to trust than others, but all in all, no one trusts someone completely the instant they meet them. In fact, more often than not that trust takes years to get ot that level of trusting someone with one's life, giving them complete control. Over the years of knowing God, it started out as a lot of talk with most of the action stemming from following the lead and expectations of others; but the more you say and act one way the more you start to believe that way, and the more you believe the more you start to really feel that way passionately. As I've spent my time discovering who God is the more I desire to know Him and feel Him close to me. It's similar to when you find that one person who is meant to be with you forever (not that I've experienced that yet, but this is how my friend explained it). As you first met that person you may have felt drawn to them or you "liked" them. Now as you've spent the time to really get to know them you start wanting to know them more. That is how I have come to feel this way about God. I kind of feel like the psalmist David in my pursuit for God's constant presence in my life.
There are many times that I feel God very tangibly. I've learned to distinguish His voice from all the rest and I have experienced Him walking right by my side and even taking my hand in His as we walk together. It's a little bit like God takes me on dates as a means of helping me get to know Him more.
Back to my comment of God being right next to me. Can't she see Him? Well, naturally, the answer is no; but think about that for a second. It's always said that Christians will be known by their love. So isn't it natural (or rather supernatural) to expect that she really can see His love in me so much that it is as if He is sitting right there?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
You are my beloved....
"You are my beloved and I am pleased by what I have made in you and what I have found in your heart."
- Your Heavenly Father
Dearest Lord, Holy Father, I praise You alone for the adventures, enjoyment and relaxation I had today. You are the giver of all good gifts, and today, Father, was a truly splendid gift from You. Thank you for beginning to reveal your plans for me, Lord, and starting to use me for Your glory. I ask You to continue working in me and through me for the sake of Your glory alone. I find my pleasure in doing what delights You, my Father, so I thank You for teaching me what that is and for bringing me many opportunities to do just that. Thank You, Lord, for the new friends I have made that challenge me to grow in my relationship with You. I ask that You would continue to grow those relationships which are meant to be and to cut off those which are meant to end.
As I sleep tonight, Lord, I pray my sleep would be sweet and my dreams pleasant. Let my heart be constantly focused on You, even while my body is at rest, that I may be in prayer and conversation with my One true Lord at all times. Keep those who need prayer on my mind and heart so that I may lift them to You; and show me those I do not yet know of that are longing for a touch from Your heart to theirs. Let me be Your vessel, Lord, a constant outpouring of Your love overflowing in my life. I praise You, Lord, for the sole reason that You have been so good to me.
Love and Praise Forever and Always,
Your humbled and faithful servant
Amen
- Your Heavenly Father
Dearest Lord, Holy Father, I praise You alone for the adventures, enjoyment and relaxation I had today. You are the giver of all good gifts, and today, Father, was a truly splendid gift from You. Thank you for beginning to reveal your plans for me, Lord, and starting to use me for Your glory. I ask You to continue working in me and through me for the sake of Your glory alone. I find my pleasure in doing what delights You, my Father, so I thank You for teaching me what that is and for bringing me many opportunities to do just that. Thank You, Lord, for the new friends I have made that challenge me to grow in my relationship with You. I ask that You would continue to grow those relationships which are meant to be and to cut off those which are meant to end.
As I sleep tonight, Lord, I pray my sleep would be sweet and my dreams pleasant. Let my heart be constantly focused on You, even while my body is at rest, that I may be in prayer and conversation with my One true Lord at all times. Keep those who need prayer on my mind and heart so that I may lift them to You; and show me those I do not yet know of that are longing for a touch from Your heart to theirs. Let me be Your vessel, Lord, a constant outpouring of Your love overflowing in my life. I praise You, Lord, for the sole reason that You have been so good to me.
Love and Praise Forever and Always,
Your humbled and faithful servant
Amen
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I Long for You
You, O Lord, are what the depths of my soul and the core of my being cry out in longing for. No matter how much time I spend with You, I cannot get enough. In You alone I find my strength and the meaning of my life. Your glory defines me.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thankful for Suffering
Over time I am becoming more and more thankful for the suffering God has allowed me to endure because anytime I am suffering I have learned to stay strong in my faith in God. All the trials I have experienced have led me to a stronger faith in God and a closer relationship with Him. If I had not experienced the things I did, I would not have had the kind of faith in God that I do and I may not even be able to be used by Him for his glory in the way He so desires. My passion and longing and love for my Heavenly Father would maybe not be nearly as strong had I not experienced the need of it to sustain my own life.
Christ's body is my bread of life and His blood is what brings life to my spirit. I live by the nourishment that He alone can bring. Because I have experienced the fulfillment of what His nourishment can do in my body and spirit and soul, I long for Him and nothing else. My desires are slowly becoming what He desires for me; I am being transformed by the renewal of my mind and my desire for the things of the spirit. I am seeing a change in me and consequently in my life because God has been allowed to work on the parts of my life that require His careful hand.
Christ's body is my bread of life and His blood is what brings life to my spirit. I live by the nourishment that He alone can bring. Because I have experienced the fulfillment of what His nourishment can do in my body and spirit and soul, I long for Him and nothing else. My desires are slowly becoming what He desires for me; I am being transformed by the renewal of my mind and my desire for the things of the spirit. I am seeing a change in me and consequently in my life because God has been allowed to work on the parts of my life that require His careful hand.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Rejoice in the Lord Always: Not Just Another Cliche
"Rejoice
in the Lord always, again I say rejoice!"
But
what does it mean to rejoice? How can we rejoice ALWAYS?! God knows it's not
easy for us to rejoice through every circumstance, but He encourages us to seek
Him for the strength to do just that. Let's look first at what it means to
rejoice.
According to Webster's
Dictionary, rejoice means to feel or express great happiness. In this verse,
the Greek word agalliao is used, which is the ACTIVE form of rejoicing
- usually in response to what God has done. It means to feel an exuberant joy, the kind
that overflows and affects everyone around you!
In
the Old Testament, to rejoice was a short-lived event, but in Phil. 4:4
it is used with the commanding word of 'always' (Vine's Concise
Dictionary). We tend to overuse this word 'always' and therefore forget what it
really means. Again, Webster's Dictionary tells us that always means without exception,
continuously, uninterruptedly, forever, in
any event, at any time, perpetual
continuance.
Let's take a closer look
at this perpetual continuance. Perpetual means continuing without interruption
or intermission, enduring forever. So the definition of always is redundant:
perpetual continuance = continuing continuance that continues forever, without
intermission. redundancy in literature (and the Bible is considered
literature!) is used to emphasize a point of importance - meaning that God is
emphasizing that we are to rejoice always no matter what the
circumstances are, good or bad, promising or bleak.
Rejoicing
is also active
and meant to be seen by others (continue reading through verse 5). So when God
tells us to rejoice in Him always, what He means is to express actively an exuberant joy in
what the Lord has done with perpetual continuance!!
How
great is that?!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
~ The Lady Who Didn't Want My Stuff on Her Bench ~
This afternoon I ventured up to the YMCA in Hudson in hopes of swimming my
heart out and burning lots of calories. Well, I was successful in my endeavor,
and boy did it feel good!! But then, I got into the locker room, had finished
showering and walked out to find 2 women with their stuff all over the bench in
front of my locker. Now, I don't mind that at all, as long as I can get to my
things. They let me get to my locker and all, but you will see where this plays
in later. When those ladies left, I put some of my stuff on the bench to pack
up.
I went to blow dry my hair because it's like -20 with wind chill outside here, and when I came back probably 20 minutes later, this lady was sitting on a bench a little past the one where I had left my stuff, waiting. As I was packing my bag she came over to me and asked, "Is all this stuff yours?" and I smiled and said, "Yes."
Her response was startling. "Don't do that again," she said harshly. Caught somewhat off-guard, I apologized politely and went back to packing. Really, my stuff didn't hinder her access to her locker at all. Then she turned to her own empty locker and opened it and shut it again to make a point. You see, she already had all her stuff in her hands; but after doing this, she turned back to me and said, "I didn't mean to get mad, but this was my locker and I couldn't get to it with all your stuff there."
Again I replied, "I'm sorry." But I added, "There were two other women here before me that took over most of the bench so I just had to fit my stuff in around theirs. I didn't mean to be in anyone's way." The lady said, "Ok," and gave me a look of disgust before turning to walk away.
Just as she was leaving I had the urge to give her a little piece of my mind. Something like, "You know, it's not going to do any good for you to just tell me not to do it again. I'm gonna keep putting my stuff on this bench just like everyone else does. But if you were to ask me politely to use less space or to allow you some room, I would gladly do so. But yelling at me only makes me angry with you and that causes me to be more stubborn than I am anyway."
BUT I didn't say any of that. I let her walk away and let some of the other women stare at me. And instead of saying all of those unnecessary things, I allowed myself to cool down and evaluate the situation, and later - on my drive home - I lifted that lady in prayer. You see, I have no idea what she might be going through in life. Maybe she just needed to feel like she had some control over a situation because she feels as if she has lost control of everything else. Perhaps she needed to see a young person respond in a decent way to help her realize that we aren't all as bad as a lot of people make us out to be. And really, maybe she just needed to see the love of God. Whatever her reason was for picking me out of the crowd of women in the locker room, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I didn't allow it to get to me and instead hopefully opened a door for God to work in her life by praying for her.
No, that lady isn't going to stop me from putting my stuff on the bench in the locker room, but I will be more conscientious about how much of the bench I take up. And next time my stubborn self wants to give an older adult a piece of my mind, I will remember this situation and think about whether what I am going to say is really important enough to show disrespect to someone older than me, even if they are disrespecting me first.
So, besides burning off a good number of calories and getting to do something I love, I got to meet a wonderful lady in the locker room who probably has no idea what's gonna hit her when God begins to work in her life.
I went to blow dry my hair because it's like -20 with wind chill outside here, and when I came back probably 20 minutes later, this lady was sitting on a bench a little past the one where I had left my stuff, waiting. As I was packing my bag she came over to me and asked, "Is all this stuff yours?" and I smiled and said, "Yes."
Her response was startling. "Don't do that again," she said harshly. Caught somewhat off-guard, I apologized politely and went back to packing. Really, my stuff didn't hinder her access to her locker at all. Then she turned to her own empty locker and opened it and shut it again to make a point. You see, she already had all her stuff in her hands; but after doing this, she turned back to me and said, "I didn't mean to get mad, but this was my locker and I couldn't get to it with all your stuff there."
Again I replied, "I'm sorry." But I added, "There were two other women here before me that took over most of the bench so I just had to fit my stuff in around theirs. I didn't mean to be in anyone's way." The lady said, "Ok," and gave me a look of disgust before turning to walk away.
Just as she was leaving I had the urge to give her a little piece of my mind. Something like, "You know, it's not going to do any good for you to just tell me not to do it again. I'm gonna keep putting my stuff on this bench just like everyone else does. But if you were to ask me politely to use less space or to allow you some room, I would gladly do so. But yelling at me only makes me angry with you and that causes me to be more stubborn than I am anyway."
BUT I didn't say any of that. I let her walk away and let some of the other women stare at me. And instead of saying all of those unnecessary things, I allowed myself to cool down and evaluate the situation, and later - on my drive home - I lifted that lady in prayer. You see, I have no idea what she might be going through in life. Maybe she just needed to feel like she had some control over a situation because she feels as if she has lost control of everything else. Perhaps she needed to see a young person respond in a decent way to help her realize that we aren't all as bad as a lot of people make us out to be. And really, maybe she just needed to see the love of God. Whatever her reason was for picking me out of the crowd of women in the locker room, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I didn't allow it to get to me and instead hopefully opened a door for God to work in her life by praying for her.
No, that lady isn't going to stop me from putting my stuff on the bench in the locker room, but I will be more conscientious about how much of the bench I take up. And next time my stubborn self wants to give an older adult a piece of my mind, I will remember this situation and think about whether what I am going to say is really important enough to show disrespect to someone older than me, even if they are disrespecting me first.
So, besides burning off a good number of calories and getting to do something I love, I got to meet a wonderful lady in the locker room who probably has no idea what's gonna hit her when God begins to work in her life.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I'll Leave You With This
If
I could leave you with the one thing that has been the most influential thing
in my life, the thing that has carried me through every storm and calm place,
the thing that has proven its endless faithfulness, it would be this: to know,
to love, and to rely on the One true God with everything that you are and all
that you have. Let Him be your strength, your joy, your health, and your only
desire.
Know
what it is that He has taught you and remain firm and confident in that,
knowing that you are guaranteed to face tribulations and persecution. But know,
also, that the Lord is your strength and will guard what He has entrusted to
you. Let the truth always dwell in your heart and do not be ashamed of it.
Instead, proclaim it boldly, having confidence in the truth and love you’ve
experienced in Him. Be ever-ready to give an answer for your faith, to correct
or advise in love, and to build others up with the Word of Truth.
Know
that there will be people, probably some of your own friends, that decide to
turn and go an easier way; but I encourage you to find strength in the Lord and
to stand in Him until it is your day to receive your eternal reward. When you
remain in Him with your desires being all His desires, you will become pure and
honorable in His eyes and He can prepare you to do anything He needs from you.
I encourage you to spend time in His word and with Him so that you can be
transformed and consumed by his truth and peace and love.
No
matter what you do or what you have to give up in life, never let your
relationship with God be something you sacrifice. Let your life be a reflection
of everything that He is so that your life brings glory to Him alone. Be a
servant, be a friend, be a light that others can follow to lead them out of
darkness. Do the work of an evangelist, focusing on leading by example and
showing the love of Christ. In all things, know God and make Him known to
others.
Key Verses:
Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5
Entire phrases from 2 Timothy are used in this post. I recommend that you take the time to study out the entire book. 2 Timothy (NIV)
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