A Means for Support

Everyone has an inborn need to feel like they have someone behind them, pushing them forward and offering encouragement. Without it, many people, especially children, feel like it is just not worth it to try because no one sincerely cares. Unfortunately, there are a lot of children who do grow up feeling this way. I, however, was extremely blessed to have someone standing beside me to help me through all the ups and downs that come with life.

            A young girl, about six years old or so, stood at the end of a long gravel road, next to a fence. On the other side of the fence grazed a small, pinto pony with a sweet, white face. With eyes large and a smile as bright as the sun, the little girl exclaimed, “Mommy, look! The pony likes me!” Her mother smiled with glistening eyes. Finally, the day had come for her daughter to experience horses the way she had when she was a little girl. From that moment on, the little girl had a bond she would share not only with the pony, but her mother as well.

            You see, the mother had grown up with horses and ponies, and wished so much that she could pass that love on to her daughter. But living in the city had made that a challenge. Now, the little girl had her chance to discover what her mother saw in horses.

            The little girl was at her outset of horse camp for the first of many summers to come. Already, the girl had lost herself in the beauty and magnificence of the horses running through the pastures; and this enchantment would sweep the young princess off into an undying passion for the gentle giants.

            Years would follow that brought with them heartache and rough spots; but the little girl’s mother would not let her daughter forget how much she loved the horses. Every year, without fail, the young girl went to horse camp to continue living her dreams as a future cowgirl. She grew to love each horse at the stable, knowing them all by name and describing each horse’s personality to her mother when she came home from her adventures. Her mother, of course, was the driving factor behind her daughter’s dreams coming true. She was the one making sacrifices of her own in order for her daughter to enjoy one of the few things that brought her utterly pure joy in her disjointed life.

            A girl, about fifteen years old, stood at the end of a concrete aisle. The aisle was lined with wooden stalls, and she was looking inside the one on the end at a small figure curled up in the cedar shavings. Her eyes glimmered with overwhelming love and a twinkling smile graced her face with sweet compassion set in her cheeks. “Mommy!” she called. “I think he likes me!” Her mother smiled from the other end of the aisle with tears in her eyes. The day both she and her daughter had dreamed of since the first day of horse camp those ten years ago had finally come. Her daughter had a horse of her very own.

            As the girl looked toward her mother, the realization struck her, that without her mom, none of this ever would have happened. All those years of her mom bringing her to horse camp and helping her study everything she could get her hands on about horses had been the whole reason she even had this new baby horse.

            This realization led to many more in the years following as the girl had to care for her horse. Her mother had devoted everything to her: time, energy, love. Her mother had always been there, not just in the horse things, but in everything. When the girl had chosen to swim competitively, her mother was her number one fan, coming to all the meets and practices; paying for all the equipment and a pool membership; and pushing her to do her best. When the girl had found a natural talent for theater and music, her mother had made it possible for her to perform in school and community shows as well as cheered her on in her competitions. Later, when the girl’s theater involvement expanded into competitive public speaking, her mother stepped up to be her daughter’s speech coach, getting her to nationals three times in high school.

            At the time, the girl did not recognize the impact this had on her life. As the mother and daughter spent time together for all these activities, they began to grow close to one another. They were not longer just mother and daughter; they had become best friends, inseparable and unbreakable. Some of their best time was spent in the car on their way to the next competition or practice. They would talk about everything from school to horses, life’s problems to their relationships with God. One day while in the car, the conversation of which college the girl would go to came up. She had looked at several, but her mom kept pressing one.

            “Why don’t you just look at River Falls?” Her mom asked.

            “Because, they don’t have what I’m looking for.”

            “How do you know if you’ve never looked?”

            “I looked at it a little bit, and it just doesn’t seem right for me.”

            “Fine,” the mom responded, getting slightly exasperated. “You look where you want, but I still think it is a good choice.” And the conversation was over. That night, the girl did look at River Falls; and her mother was right. It was perfect, everything she had been looking for. All this time her mom had been proving that she had her daughter’s best interest in mind, and the girl had doubted her anyway. From then on, the girl knew her mom would always be there. This gave her so much comfort in knowing that even as she stepped out into college the next fall, there would still be someone back home pushing her through and encouraging her to continue chasing her dreams.

Psalm 23 - Paraphrased

 Based on Psalm 23 (MSG)

 ^1-3 My God, you’ve given me everything I need.

    You have been faithful to give me rest

        And revitalization anytime I need it.

    Like you promised, you lift the stress off my shoulders

        And tell me where to go next.

 ⁴ Even when my world is falling down around me,

       I feel safe in knowing you are there.

  Your loving arms wrap around me

       And my need for security is fulfilled.

 ⁵ You prosper my life abundantly

       In front of those who hate me,

       All for Your glory.

   You lift my head and wipe my tears,

      Assuring me I’ll be okay.

  I’m blessed so much I cannot contain it,

     Yet I don’t even know it!

 ⁶ You chase after me with your loving arms wide open,

      And still I hesitate to trust you enough to let you come near.

  Your love is so great and keeps me safe in your house forever,

     If I will just take that first step to enter.

The Power of Words

I’ve used drugs. Yes, I know, shocking right? But I have, and so have you. Everyone that has spoken a single word has used drugs. Rudyard Kipling claims that “Words are… the most powerful drug used by mankind.” Think about that for a second. If words are a drug, then they were originally meant to serve a good purpose; but they also have the ability to become corrupted and can ultimately ruin a life. Words have the power to either build a person up or completely defeat them.

            A pastor once told me that a lot of people who talk trash about other people are hurting and insecure themselves. Throwing insults and discouragements at other people, especially those they are jealous of, is a way that they make themselves feel better about their own flaws. However, what they do not realize is how their words stick with people for years. According to Nan S. Russell, “Words create impressions, images and expectations. Poorly chosen words can kill enthusiasm, impact self-esteem, lower expectations and hold people back.” Words can impact a life forever. James 3:6 in The Message version says, “It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.” However, God also wants us to know that our words can have a positive impact on other people too.

             “Well chosen words can motivate, offer hope, create vision, impact thinking and alter results,” says Russell. St Teresa of Lisieux once said, “One word or a pleasing smile is often enough to raise up a saddened and wounded soul.” Whether a person remembers what you said to them, they will remember how you made them feel; and according to Maya Angelou, that is enough reason to speak encouraging words to others. When choosing the words you speak, remember that everyone you meet is God’s creation just as much as you are.
            Not only do your words impact others, but they impact your life just as much or maybe even more. An anonymous author once said that “When we encourage others, we increase our own Divine Qualitites.” Have you ever been writing a note to a friend, or talking with them about something they’re going through, and all of a sudden it’s like you’re not the one talking anymore? But once you listen to what you’ve said or read what you’ve written down, every word of it is something you needed to hear just as much? It is interesting how God works to say everything He needs to through His people.
            When I was younger, I was always the one on the receiving end of the people trying to make themselves look better by making me feel terrible. And for a while, I was just as bad as they were; I was hurting so bad from what they were saying to me that I did the same thing to other people; but my art was making up lies about them to make myself look better. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I truly realized God’s best for me and started listening to what He has to say instead of what others said. Although a lot of the things people said to me through the years have stuck with me until today, God has shown me a better way to combat the power their words carry in my life. God has blessed me with the gift of encouragement and has shown me that by encouraging others, you can make yourself feel better too. So instead of allowing the things people say hurt me forever, God has shown me how to let Him speak through me to give them a compliment or a word of encouragement. So many times this has come back to bless me even more in return than it blessed the person I said it to. Since God revealed this truth to me, I have allowed God to completely speak through me and have been encouraged so much by things that other say and that I say to others.
            Just a few weeks ago, there was a day at school when it seemed that everyone was giving compliments to everybody else. The whole atmosphere of the school was different, better, lighter. Everyone was in a good mood and God was speaking through people to touch others’ hearts. My friends and I called that day “Compliment Day.” Not only was I able to encourage others that day, but many people encouraged me. People were amazed at how great they felt, and so was I!
            Maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s inner pain coming out in their words to you.  Let me be the first to say, those words can dig into your heart forever; but allowing God to work things out can take what those words have done and shape you into what God desires you to be. Maybe you’re the one who has been tearing up people’s hearts with your words, whether you knew it or not. God can take what was meant for evil and turn it into good to use for His glory. In both cases, learning to allow God to encourage others through your words can do amazing things in people’s lives.
            Whichever side you come from, I challenge you to make everyday “Compliment Day” just as Hebrews 3:13 says. Honestly, there are going to be days that it seems almost impossible to say something encouraging to someone else when you’re feeling so down and out yourself; but you’ll be amazed at how refreshed you feel when you see how you’ve made someone’s day with what you said to them. Ephesians 4:29 in the New Living Translation commands that we “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Imagine how great it would feel to know that you are helping to change a life little by little that has been so impacted by the power of words.

We’ve all used drugs, and use them everyday; but think of how you can reverse the side effects of those drugs. Words are powerful. They can either encourage or they can completely destroy. In the words of Colin Dunbar, “To encourage is one of the greatest things that you can do for someone.” So how are you going to use your words to impact the people around you?