I've always been single. Never dated. Never even had a guy show interest (that I know of - I mean, I'm pretty inept at being able to tell...). In high school it didn't matter because hardly anyone actually dated (we were all a little too busy with those crazy AP classes and all things Christian school to date). In college, it still didn't really matter because most of my friends were single, too. It didn't really start to bother me until I became one of the only people left in my friend-group to be single. Now, I am one of two people in my friend-group who is not engaged, married, and/or having kids. At first this was extremely isolating. It's hard watching your friends fall in love, be surrounded by family, and know that when you go home the only one to greet you is your stuffed animal.
When this topic comes up with adults a bit more seasoned in life than me (i.e. old enough to be my parents), I get a lot of mixed comments. Some of them are gung-ho on finding me a man - like literally start to point them out and say, "What about that one?" Others of them say things like, "This is such a great chance for you to be independent and learn about yourself." or "Think about how much you couldn't do if you were tied down to a husband and family right now." And then the ones at church are often the ones to say "God is bringing you the man of your dreams; just be patient." If you've been single for your whole life, you know how annoying all of these responses are. For me, this was pushing me toward isolation, loneliness, and self-doubt. One night I looked God right in the face (ok, not quite literally) and told Him how frustrated I was with being so alone here, how being this far from my family and closest friends feels so wrong, and that I hated having to be patient even longer.
The response I got from Him opened my heart and mind to a new idea that a lot of singles don't discover. God showed me that if I were at home, I would still be relying on my mom and dad for emotional support, wanting them to commiserate with me over the hard days, and staying stagnant in my young adulthood. If I were at home, I would be attending a church where my past haunts me and my relationships have faltered. If I was dating, I would be seeking attention from a man who would likely take advantage of my history of codependency. But because I'm here, living alone, and feeling isolated, the only One I have left to run to is God. I have to rely on Him for emotional support, bring my hard days to Him, share my hurts and joys with Him, and live beyond my past. Here, I attend a church full of love where my past doesn't define me and I am challenged to live more like Jesus every day. Here, I have found friendships with people who love me too much to let me continue living life the way I always have. Here, I am growing, and not becoming independent, but learning how to properly depend on God as my everything.
A lot of people say that being single is the greatest time in your life because you learn to do everything for yourself. I beg to differ. Being single is an amazing season of life, but it is because that is the prime time for learning how to trust God with your whole life and let Him help you through all the ups and downs. If you're not whole in Christ as a single, your brokenness is going to be permanently attached to someone else's brokenness, and you'll need a lot more healing to be whole as a couple.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Monday, July 6, 2015
Reign
Romans 6:12, "Do not let sin reign in your body."
The word reign can be understood in two different ways:
1. to rule over, make all decisions for (sovereign)
2. that which advises the decision maker
At royal court, there are varying degrees of authority. The King or Queen is the most powerful, but they have advisers that temper that power. If at any time one of the people they have at court is known to be a traitor to the crown, action is taken to remove that person and all of his influence at court as to prevent a threat to the royal family, the palace, or the nation.
When sin is allowed to stay at court in your heart or mind, it causes a traitorous uprising amongst them. It begins subtly taking control of your thoughts and actions, and you don't even realize how easily you hand over your power and authority. Soon, it is no longer you that is truly making your decisions, but rather the clouded judgment that sin has brought in. Sin is a traitor - it doesn't want what is best for you. It just looks enticing and friendly in the moment to get you to look away as the Enemy steals from you and attacks your palace.
So, how do we stop this? We are choice-makers. We have the ability to choose whether sin is allowed to stay at court or we take action against the traitor and all its influence. When sin tries to re-enter and advise us on our decisions, we have the power of Christ to make it leave and never come back. One work from us in Jesus's name makes the order final, just like when a king's seal is placed on an order to his people. There is no questioning the king's order, no trying to convince him otherwise. Once you've ordered sin out of your court, nothing and no one should be able to change your mind. Remind yourself of sin's traitorous nature and the harm it wants to cause in your life. Stick to your order and ask the Holy Spirit - your right-hand adviser - to help you. When the temptation comes to let sin back in, the Holy Spirit can be there to remind you of why you ordered sin out of your court and the havoc it was causing.
Royalty and the royal guard never lose their vigilance in protecting their court from the enemy. They know that if they do, the life of the king or the entire nation is at dire risk. they take all threats against the king seriously and protect him to the fullest extent. The same goes for the Holy Spirit and angels in the Christian's life. If we step into a danger zone, there is only so much the Holy Spirit can do to keep us alive and well - He cannot defy our free will to choose danger. We have to be vigilant at all times - it's when we get lax that sin can easily re-enter and destroy us.
The word reign can be understood in two different ways:
1. to rule over, make all decisions for (sovereign)
2. that which advises the decision maker
At royal court, there are varying degrees of authority. The King or Queen is the most powerful, but they have advisers that temper that power. If at any time one of the people they have at court is known to be a traitor to the crown, action is taken to remove that person and all of his influence at court as to prevent a threat to the royal family, the palace, or the nation.
When sin is allowed to stay at court in your heart or mind, it causes a traitorous uprising amongst them. It begins subtly taking control of your thoughts and actions, and you don't even realize how easily you hand over your power and authority. Soon, it is no longer you that is truly making your decisions, but rather the clouded judgment that sin has brought in. Sin is a traitor - it doesn't want what is best for you. It just looks enticing and friendly in the moment to get you to look away as the Enemy steals from you and attacks your palace.
So, how do we stop this? We are choice-makers. We have the ability to choose whether sin is allowed to stay at court or we take action against the traitor and all its influence. When sin tries to re-enter and advise us on our decisions, we have the power of Christ to make it leave and never come back. One work from us in Jesus's name makes the order final, just like when a king's seal is placed on an order to his people. There is no questioning the king's order, no trying to convince him otherwise. Once you've ordered sin out of your court, nothing and no one should be able to change your mind. Remind yourself of sin's traitorous nature and the harm it wants to cause in your life. Stick to your order and ask the Holy Spirit - your right-hand adviser - to help you. When the temptation comes to let sin back in, the Holy Spirit can be there to remind you of why you ordered sin out of your court and the havoc it was causing.
Royalty and the royal guard never lose their vigilance in protecting their court from the enemy. They know that if they do, the life of the king or the entire nation is at dire risk. they take all threats against the king seriously and protect him to the fullest extent. The same goes for the Holy Spirit and angels in the Christian's life. If we step into a danger zone, there is only so much the Holy Spirit can do to keep us alive and well - He cannot defy our free will to choose danger. We have to be vigilant at all times - it's when we get lax that sin can easily re-enter and destroy us.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Freedom Isn't Free
Romans 6
Baptism is representative of one dying to sin, sickness, and depression with Jesus Christ on the cross, and being resurrected with Him in the same power that gave Him new life. When we go back to the things that have died and let them have a place in our lives, it is like we are denying the death and resurrection of Christ. We were resurrected with Christ and have the power to overcome sin and death. It is our choice whether we do overcome. Why would a man freed from slavery and given power over the slave master go back to him and ask to be his slave again? People who have gained their freedom stand on that freedom and fight to protect it. They do all they can not to go back to slavery. It is a fight, though, to stay free - often the way of life in slavery was easier, less demanding, even so filled with a lot of pain and punishment. Some people give up the fight and go back because life there seemed easier - you just do what you're told to do, you make no hard choices.
We have to remind ourselves every day why we chose to leave slavery and what we are chasing after, fighting for. Freedom from sin comes with a price, but it also comes with a great reward.
When temptation to sin comes:
Baptism is representative of one dying to sin, sickness, and depression with Jesus Christ on the cross, and being resurrected with Him in the same power that gave Him new life. When we go back to the things that have died and let them have a place in our lives, it is like we are denying the death and resurrection of Christ. We were resurrected with Christ and have the power to overcome sin and death. It is our choice whether we do overcome. Why would a man freed from slavery and given power over the slave master go back to him and ask to be his slave again? People who have gained their freedom stand on that freedom and fight to protect it. They do all they can not to go back to slavery. It is a fight, though, to stay free - often the way of life in slavery was easier, less demanding, even so filled with a lot of pain and punishment. Some people give up the fight and go back because life there seemed easier - you just do what you're told to do, you make no hard choices.
We have to remind ourselves every day why we chose to leave slavery and what we are chasing after, fighting for. Freedom from sin comes with a price, but it also comes with a great reward.
When temptation to sin comes:
- Rebuke it and the devil the Jesus's name
- Take the thought captive in Jesus's name
- Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, will, and emotions
- Do the righteous opposite of what the temptation is telling you to do
When you catch yourself in sin:
- Repent to God and to the person you sinned against (if possible)
- Forgive yourself as Christ forgave you
- Do whatever is necessary and possible to repair the damage
- Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, will, and emotions
- Remain vigilant, guarding your heart from attacks of the enemy
At the end of the day:
- Ask God to reveal to you any sin that you still need to repent of
- Be willing to hear and acknowledge it with humility
- Do what must and can be done to repair it, involving the other person if possible
- Praise, worship, recommit to being vigilant of sin
- Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, will, and emotions
- Command the devil to flee in Jesus's name and have no dominion over your thoughts and actions
At all times: CONFESSIONS, PRAISE AND WORSHIP
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