That Sinking Feeling

If you grew up in church, even if you didn't, you are likely familiar with the story of Jesus walking on the water and the example of Peter that comes immediately after it in Matthew 14.

²⁸ And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” ²⁹ He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind,^[d] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” ³¹ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” ³² And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. ³³ And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

We've heard the message many times before - Peter sinks because he doubted that Jesus would carry him over the water; but I think sometimes it's easy for us to just quote it as a good story with a lesson rather than dig deeper into it's meaning for our lives. Have you ever thought about what it was that caused Peter to sink? Peter saw the wind. Peter saw that there were waves, that the water was deep and unsteady, and that he could be swallowed up by it at any moment. Immediately as Peter allowed his thoughts to go to those waves and their potential power over him, he lost the faith it took for him to step out of the boat.

Many of us as Christians have stepped out of the boat on many occasions: following the desires that God has placed in our hearts or even just the big step of accepting Christ as our Savior; but how long do your eyes stay on Jesus as you walk toward Him? See, Peter's journey to where Jesus was standing was likely only a few steps of faith across the sea, but it becomes an excellent metaphor for our journey in following Christ as our Lord and Savior. Each step is a chance for us to decide where our eyes are going to find their focus - is it going to be on Jesus or is it going to be on the ocean swirling beneath and around us?

I want to challenge you to think about what your ocean is. Is it financial trouble? Family problems? Health issues? What is it that continuously pulls your focus off from Jesus and causes you to sink in swirling waters? Take a minute and figure out what has had your attention more that Jesus has lately, and then continue reading.

The next step in your walk of faith across the water toward your Savior is to ask Him to open your eyes to His truth, love, and faithfulness; to establish in your heart a trust in Him that He is never going to let you sink. He will be your lifeguard, a stronghold for you to balance on as you walk across the waves. When you find your thoughts wandering to your ocean, immediately call on Jesus for peace and faith. Take a step toward Him and allow Him to keep you from sinking. I encourage you to find verses in the Bible that you can memorize such as Isaiah 26:3, "He keeps in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on Him, because he trusts in Him." Make your time in the Word and in prayer a priority. As you do these things, watch yourself rise above your doubts and fear and walk toward Jesus on the water.

It's Not a Competition

This weekend I was challenged with the fact of competition. The constant internal dialogue that goes through my mind comparing my life with the lives of others. The reality of how often I do the full once-over of all the other women in the room and think to myself "I bet she's never been through what I have" or "Thank God I'm smaller than her." Yeah, those sickening words run through more heads than just mine if anyone else is ever being honest. I thought about how often I think, "If only they could understand the stuff that has happened to make me the way I am" or "She's got it so easy compared to me" and realized that over the years, my past has been a sort of badge of honor for me. Like the more bad stuff that I can pinpoint that has happened to me, the better person I am now for it.

For example, when I share my testimony of God's faithfulness in my life, a lot of times my experiences with depression, anxiety, suicide, etc. come up. This weekend, when I was asked by a new friend what my story is, I was super convicted about how much of my past I share with some people. See, there's a huge difference between using simple details of your past to show how God brought you into new light in Him, and giving details that make people feel sorry for you, worry about you, or give you attention. That second one is, without a doubt, a form of pride, and not a healthy kind of pride. When I share my testimony, is it about what God did or about all the junk I suffered because of my disobedience?

It is likely that all of my readers have heard "Let It Go" from the Disney movie "Frozen." One of the lyrics in the song is "the past is in the past" and I don't think we quite understand how important that is in our Christian lives. Paul tells us in Philippians 3:13 to forget what is behind and press on toward what is ahead, toward the high calling of God. So then, our testimony is not so much about the past that God pulled us from, but rather more about how we are pressing into His calling on our life NOW. Rather than saying "I dealt with this for such and such years and was so depressed I wanted to die" and drawing people's attention to our suffering, we should be turning people's heads toward the hope and faithfulness of God's promises.

This doesn't mean to discount our sufferings or make ourselves unrelatable to those who need to hear of Christ's redeeming power in our lives. Paul also said we should glory in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces character and hope. But immediately before that, Paul tells us to rejoice (boast) in the glory of GOD and the grace that provides us with faith and a relationship with Him. In our sharing of what Christ has done in our lives, the ultimate redeeming story is the part where we show others how His grace can set THEM free.

My challenge to you is to leave the past in the past. Yes, it is always good to learn from our mistakes and see the ways that God has changed our lives. But it is more damaging to us and others when we bring up all the stuff we've been through merely for the competition factor of who's dirty past is the worst. When we do that, we are bringing glory to the suffering and building our pride rather than turning heads to the One who has taken our suffering and turned it into joy!

An oldie, but oh so good!!

Finding God in The Hunger Games

WARNING: This post contains LOTS of spoilers if you have not read all the books!!!

As I read the Hunger Games Trilogy, I found myself longing to be in the moments with the characters, experiencing every little bit of torture, sadness, victory, and love. Then I realized, I AM inside the Hunger Games. Not in the literal sense, but immediately I began picking up on the spiritual implications of what was happening in the books and movies.  While no story is going to be a perfect allegory for Christ or the Christian life, I believe there are a lot of parallels that allow readers to take a deeper look at their own spiritual condition and the life we are meant to live in Christ.

Katniss Everdeen is chosen before her life truly begins to become one of the greatest near-martyrs for a cause that will free an entire people from tyranny. Katniss is an unlikely hero, coming from one of the poorest districts and only having her experience with hunting as a skill to fall back upon (James 2:5). She requires training and must learn to trust her trainers and guides to be successful in the task she has been chosen for. This is much like the way we are chosen by God, before the beginning of time, to bring His people into freedom and life beyond the chains of the Enemy. We do not come prepared and equipped for the task set before us, but we are asked to trust God and learn and lean on the wisdom provided to us by our Trainer and Guide. (Matthew 22:14, 1 Peter 2:9)

The Enemy. Several times in the books, Katniss is told to “remember who the true Enemy is”. We are intuitive enough to realize that the enemy is not the other tributes who are meant to fight against her to the death. Rather, the Enemy is President Snow and his legions, the ruler of the Capitol, a symbol of the Dark Days, where an entire nation was obliterated and taken under the powers of darkness. Snow is even noted as snake-like according to Katniss’ narrative, similar to the snake in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3). Snow is represented by a rose throughout the book, which would seem almost a contradiction as the Rose of Sharon has been used in the Bible as a symbol of Christ or at least of perfected love (Song of Solomon 2:1). However, just as the serpent in the Garden took on the guise of God, Snow is taking on the guise of Katniss’ redeemer or His perfect love.

Just as our Enemy, Satan, conjures up memories of our past to hinder us from rising to our full potential for the future, Snow uses Katniss’ weaknesses and losses to hold her back from realizing what she was truly meant to do. It is not until she sees beyond the pain and torture of her past that she realizes her true calling and what she needs to do: take down the true Enemy.

As chosen ones, we are provided with protection, a guide, a mentor, much like Haymitch is to Katniss. While there are flaws in Haymitch’s character that distract from my point, I mean to liken Haymitch to the Holy Spirit. He is ever present in Katniss’ life, even to the point of being in her ear and her mind when they can’t be in person. They understand each other and he guides her with what she is to say and do. There are times that Katniss deviates from what Haymitch guides her to do, and there are consequences to that such as lost lives or increased threat upon her own life. However, Haymitch uses these moments to bring her back to being able to trust him to protect her and to be on her side no matter what. In the end, Haymitch and other allies are able to testify for Katniss in her trial, which results in her being made free. He is even assigned to go live with her in District 12 for the rest of their days. (John 14:15-18)

The Games and the arena. In his efforts to maintain control over the districts, Snow continues a 75-year-old tradition of pitting civilian children against each other in a fight for the death in an arena controlled by him and his forces. Just as we are placed on this earth where the god of this world (Satan) has complete control, the tributes are placed in the arena where Snow and his gamemakers are designing the worst possible torture in an effort to destroy those who may impact the future (we see this theme especially in Catching Fire and Mockingjay due to Snow’s extreme dislike for the way the 74th Hunger Games ended). Rather than viewing the entire world as the arena in this analogy, however, I’d like to suggest that the arena represents our specific battlegrounds (whether it be our thought life, an area of addiction or recurring sin, etc.). Exactly as we see it occurring in our own lives, the tributes are fighting against each other when what they truly should be fighting against is the Enemy. While Satan has complete control over this world, we are granted a source of power in having Jesus at our side and the Holy Spirit as our guide to strategically defeat the Enemy. Despite all the attempts of the gamemakers to defeat Katniss and Peeta, they come out triumphant in the end because of their sponsors and their training before the Games. This is very similar to the training we are raised up in before battle by going to church, getting in the word, and learning how to use our weapons and defense.  Notice that the weapon Katniss has been training with and using her whole life is what becomes her strongest asset when the battle comes! When we neglect to train properly, including in our minds, we are just like all of the other tributes that are underprepared and end up destroyed and defeated. (Ephesians 6:10-20) (1John 5:4) We do not fight against flesh and blood but against principalities and rulers of the darkness (Ephesians 6:12).

            The Capitol. In the story, the Capitol is the most perverse and disgusting, gluttonous part of the nation of Panem. The people who live there feed on the misfortune and lack that exists in all of the other Districts. This is the place from where the Enemy rules, likened to the way in which Satan rules this world.

            The Districts. At first there are only 12 Districts mentioned as it is believed that the 13^th has been destroyed. However, we come to find out that the District 13 has been undercover and preparing for the battle of the century. District 13 has been serving as the training grounds for those refugees who are going to aid in the revolution and bringing freedom to Panem. A suggestion is that Districts 1-12 represent the 12 tribes of Israel, God’s chosen people (Deuteronomy 14:2), and District 13 is like the preparation area for all the saints and angels that are preparing for the apocalypse. While this could go into a TON more detail, it seems as though an entire blog would need to be designed just to explain the intricacies of the Book of Revelation. If you’re curious, I’d start there J

At first we see Katniss as a selfless volunteer to take her sister’s place in the Hunger Games. However, as we watch Katniss’ character develop, it becomes harder to see whether she is truly selfless. I believe that there is a part of her that is like all of us – out to protect our own lives, unable to face the reality of what a loss on the account of the Enemy could do to us. The loss of Katniss’ loved ones and the thought of having to try to live without them is a common theme to what keeps Katniss doing what she is doing. It takes an act of true, selfless love to show her what it really means to be fulfilled. This act comes from Peeta in many ways. Over time, Katniss begins to feel and act in the same love that Peeta has shown her from the beginning. He has pledged his life to keep her safe and does everything, including sacrificing his own life, to save her. In the end, the love penetrates Katniss’ heart and gives her the wisdom to do what she was made to do; and as a result, both Katniss and Peeta are brought together in a bond of love that goes beyond the romance that was such a strategy in the games.

Peeta is the Christ-figure in our little allegory. Snow has captured Peeta and is using him in a ploy to gain Katniss’ faithfulness. However, Katniss remains faithful to Peeta after much debate over whether he is worth the cost he could be to her life. Peeta relies on Haymitch to protect Katniss while he is captured in the hands of the Enemy and tortured on her account. Constantly, we are reminded that everything Peeta is getting is what the Enemy really meant for Katniss. Instead, Peeta is left to suffer, but Katniss suffers, too, at the realization of what her actions have caused the one person to endure that has shown her the truest form of love. Peeta breaks out of the hands of the Enemy over time and shows Katniss how to be strong and how to triumph. It is Peeta’s coming back to District 12 to be with Katniss that draws Katniss out of her painful past and allows her to experience love and a life of purpose with Peeta. (Revelation 17:14, Isaiah 53:5)

Katniss was prepared to meet her lover over and over again, each time made more beautiful and perfect than the last. When Peeta came back to District 12 to find her, Katniss had been repaired by the doctors and sent home to wait for him, although unknowing of his return. Peeta saw her as perfect in those moments and took her full in love to himself. This is just like the way we are covered in glory and transformed from glory to glory and prepared for our meeting with our bridegroom Jesus Christ at a time unbeknownst to us. (Isaiah 61:10, Revelation 21-22)

There are many other parallels that have been drawn between scripture and The Hunger Games trilogy, but these are the ones that stood out the most to me over my time reading them and studying some of the scripture that God led me to. It is rare to be able to find God in the mess of Hollywood movies, but I encourage you to ask God to show you His truth in the lies that are this world whenever you are exposed to them. I’d love to hear what others have to say about these things!!

Till You Are My One Desire

Some of you know that I recently took a break from Facebook to allow myself to really live in the present moment and enjoy the blessings God is giving me here and now. During that time I was spending quite a bit of time in the car with the radio on, and God really allowed me to see the truth in many of the songs I was hearing. I have linked my absolute favorites below. I continue to really take in my time alone in the car and the opportunity it gives me to worship My One True Love.

These songs have been my heart cry lately::

And this one's my "jam" haha (it might be the 50s/60sesque-ness of it)

The Shower

You know that feeling you have after a really good shower - one after you've been especially sweaty and gross? You're so clean, your skin is exfoliated and pure, your hair is silky smooth, and you just feel good. Not a lot of feelings in this world quite compare to the refreshing feel after a good shower. But there's also the possibility of a bad shower. I found this out in Italy where our hotels quite obviously installed showers as an afterthought. Hardly big enough to get inside and shut the door, you couldn't move once you were in there. The water had little pressure and it took a good ten minutes to get the soap out of your hair. When you finally were able to fully rinse off, It wasn't even really worth it because you still felt unclean getting out - definitely not the refreshing shower we all would want after walking around the sites of Ancient Rome for ten hours!

How often do we go to a shower that promises to make us clean and wash away all the dirt from the day, only to come away feeling burdened, unrefreshed, and frustrated? We go out with friends after work for an evening of fun and relaxation, only to feel exhausted the next morning. We spend hours on the internet trying to distract from the things that bear us down, only to be burdened by new things we find there. There are a number of other places that we go to purge and cleanse the thoughts and memories of our days and make us feel light and clean; and yet all of them leave us feeling still just a bit unclean and unfulfilled.

But there is a shower that promises that we will be completely clean, refreshed, and unburdened. It can heal beyond the depth of our skin and cleanse our heart and soul with a power unlike anything else. Just as a shower with good water pressure has a massaging feel on our skin yet is not hard enough to be painful, so Jesus Christ's blood has the power behind it to massage the impurities from our hearts and leave us feeling clean and new.

Just as we go unclothed into a shower, we go before the Lord with a bare heart. A good, refreshing shower does not leave one small area untouched that we aren't ready to have cleaned yet. Rather, it washes all impurities away, leaving us clean and new. God does the same in creating a clean heart in us. He simply asks that we do not keep any part of us from His healing rain. It's not always a pleasant experience to allow God to cleanse our hearts. Think of those times when you've had paint or mud stuck to your skin that took a little extra scrubbing. Sometimes our hearts take a little extra scrubbing too, and for a little while it may be a bit raw and tender; but God promises us to heal our broken hearts and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, so that raw tenderness with eventually become pure and whole.

God is urging us to come and stand in His shower while He washes away our impurities and burdens. He has provided us with a cleansing flood that will leave us refreshed and pure before Him so we can live our lives freely under His blessings. Will you step into His shower? I challenge you to come to Him completely open, baring all, so that He can bring about healing and cleansing to your soul. This is not simply something to do of your own bidding, or of my encouragement. Bring the matters of your heart to the Lord in prayer, because once you ask Him to cleanse you fully, you can't go back. It can be scary letting God see every part of you, but when you have faith and trust in His love for you, you will see that all He wants for you is good.

Psalm 51, a Psalm of David

Have mercy on me, O God,
    because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
    blot out the stain of my sins.
 Wash me clean from my guilt.
    Purify me from my sin.
For I recognize my rebellion;
    it haunts me day and night.
 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
    I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
    and your judgment against me is just.^[a]
 For I was born a sinner—
    yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
 But you desire honesty from the womb,^[b]
    teaching me wisdom even there.

 Purify me from my sins,^[c] and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
 Oh, give me back my joy again;
    you have broken me—
    now let me rejoice.
 Don’t keep looking at my sins.
    Remove the stain of my guilt.
 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
    Renew a loyal spirit within me.
 Do not banish me from your presence,
    and don’t take your Holy Spirit^[d] from me.

 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and make me willing to obey you.
Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
    and they will return to you. Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
    then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
    that my mouth may praise you.

 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
    You do not want a burnt offering.
 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
    You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
 

Super Easy "Homemade" Chocolate Chip Cinnamon Rolls

For something special this Christmas, I decided to go all Pinterest on my family and came up with a WAY easier way to do "homemade" cinnamon rolls without all the hassle of rolling out dough or dealing with yeast. They turned out GREAT although, I think we all wish there had been more for each of us (we each got 2). They remind me a little of chocolate croissants from Target or Starbucks.

Ingredients (Makes 8 rolls, served 4 of us):

• 1 can crescent rolls
• 2 TBSP Butter, melted
• cinnamon sugar
• bittersweet chocolate chips (I used Ghirardelli 60% chocolate chips)
• Icing: 1/4 C Powdered Sugar and 2 TBSP Milk

Directions:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
• Roll out the crescent rolls on a cutting board or wax paper

•  Brush with melted butter

•  Sprinkle evenly with cinnamon sugar

•  Place chocolate chips on crescents, leaving the small end open. Lightly press chocolate chips into dough so that they stay in place as you roll them. (We only did four rolls with chocolate and the other 4 plain cinnamon rolls)

•  Roll the crescents, starting at the large end and rolling to the small end. If chocolate chips fall out or are not "inside" the roll, take them out. Place the rolls on an ungreased baking sheet.

•  Bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden brown and not doughy in the middle

•  Glaze with powdered sugar icing (2 TBSP milk and 1/4 C powdered sugar)

•  Serving suggestion: Chocolate Chip Cinnamon Crescent Rolls and Sliced Kielbasa

Wait.

This past week, the Lord has been asking me to learn what it really means to wait on Him.

So often, that is a cliché Christian phrase. We hear it everywhere: wait on the Lord, He'll give you the answer when He's ready. Wait on the Lord, He will lift you up and set your paths. Now, I'm not discounting any of this - all of these are paraphrases of some of the most powerful commanding verses in the Bible. What I am saying, is sometimes it's really hard to know what it actually LOOKS LIKE to WAIT! So, I went straight to my Bible concordance (where you can look up a word and see where it's used in the Bible) to find the word 'wait' and all of its derivatives. From there I found the following passages to manuscript and really dig in to: 

Isaiah 40:28-31, Psalm 37:3-11, and Psalm 40:1-3

 Now, let me tell you, I got more out of these handful of verses than I have in a quiet time in a LONG while.

I specifically asked God to show me what it would look like in my life, everyday, to wait on Him.

First, in Isaiah 40, God reminded me that it's HIM and NOT ME that increases my strength, gives me power, and lifts me up. Isaiah is very clear in distinguishing the contrasts between us and God: God is everlasting, we are weak; God does not faint or get weary, we do; God is unsearchable and all-knowing, we cannot know His full plan. At the beginning of verse 28, we are asked straight up, "You already know this, so why are you doubting?!"

Next I looked at Psalm 37. My first observation was that we are given a list of things to do: trust, do good, dwell, feed, delight, commit, rest, wait, and DO NOT FRET. I put this one in all caps because it is repeated three times in just 8 verses, so it must be important!

I'm a HUGE language person, so I am kind of obsessed with definitions. When I saw this repetition, I just had to know what the truer meaning of 'fret' is, and this is what I found::
Fret: to feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent, or the like; to cause corrosion or wear away at something
When I read that last part, I literally froze with my dictionary open. Fear literally WEARS AWAY at our faith!! Have you ever thought of that before? All of our preoccupation with things beyond our control is not just preventing us from trusting God - it is actually causing us to do the exact opposite!

From there, I went on to define all of the command words we are given in these verses and put them into phrases of how I can apply them to my everyday life. Here's what I came up with:

TRUST (rely on, place confidence in) the LORD
DWELL (live or stay as a permanent residence) in the land
FEED (be nourished or gratified) on His FAITHFULNESS (promises/Word)
DELIGHT (have great pleasure) in HIM
COMMIT (entrust for safekeeping) our way to HIM
REST (stay or remain without further action) in HIM
WAIT PATIENTLY (remain inactive but ready for action without complaining no matter what) for HIM

--> To do these things requires humility - our ability and willingness to recognize our NEED for HIM. When we are humble we will inherit the earth and delight in an abundance of peace.
Meek: humbly patient or docile; overly submissive; gentle; kind


      Abundance: overflowing fulness; over-sufficient supply
      Peace: a state of tranquility or serenity; freedom from annoyance, distraction, anxiety; silence, stillness

Psalm 40 gives us a deeper picture of what happens when we wait patiently on Him. Here is what we are promised when we wait patiently on Him: He inclined to me; He heard my cry; He brought me up from a horrible, sticky place; He set my feet on a firm foundation; He set my way which is committed to Him; He put a new song in my mouth.                                                  

I used this scripture to create a confession to speak over myself. There is POWER in our words, and especially in the WORD of God. 

Because I wait on the Lord without complaining, He will save me - He will pull me from a place I can't get out of on my own; He will strategically place my feet on a firm foundation in Him, and He will permanently and firmly settle my steps - prove Himself to be valid. He will fill me with praise to glorify His name. When others hear His praise in my mouth, they will trust in the LORD.

So, what does it look like to wait on the Lord??

• Rely on Jesus for my strength
• Be fully present in the place God has put me in this moment in my life
• Be fulfilled by God's promises, His Word
• Take pleasure in God and my relationship with Him
• Hand my future over to God
• Stop working toward my own plans
• Be ready when He calls me to action on His plans

Lord, help me to do these things in Your strength.