Fear and Apprehension = Pure Exhaustion

I've been realizing more and more lately how important it is to be constantly feeding on the things of the Spirit. I find myself in conversations where my flesh is very pleased to continue in the direction it is naturally heading, but at the same time, I am seeing infinite opportunities to turn it toward my Lord and Savior. Coming away from those conversations leaves me thinking a lot, especially when I choose to let them go where they will.

I am seeing, though, that God is giving me so many chances to be a light for Him in a place of darkness. One friend in particular tends to almost beg for God to be brought into the conversation but won't do it herself because she's not confident in her relationship with Him. I understand exactly where she is coming from and have been in that place so many times before. It can be so hard to open our flesh up to the things God desires because sometimes they aren't anything like what our flesh wants to have.

Another friend of mine has been really instrumental in challenging me to find God every single day whether I want to or not, and I have seen how the fruit of that time in seeking Christ really does spread. I get so excited about the things that God shares with me during my time with Him that it excites me to share it - which is why it's so annoying when my flesh overrules and makes it so hard, almost painful, to spend that time with God. Maybe, in reality, it's a fear of how He's going to react to our coming back and asking for a new start. But I've come to learn that fear is a lack of faith, often a result of pure exhaustion and being overwhelmed by trying to do it all ourselves.

But God desires us to be in close relationship with Him all the time. He doesn't change His mind based on what we've done that day or the desires we have. He is all the same and desires the same from us. We are His, He is with us, and we are precious and loved by Him, all the time, no matter what (Isaiah 43:1-4).

So, I guess we're left with two choices. #1 - push through, work harder, see what we can do/figure out = pure exhaustion; or #2 - rely on God and see what He can do, even when it's hard or scary to lose our sense of control = joy and strength.

My encouragement for you is that you would be purposeful about finding time to spend with God. Push aside your fears or apprehensions about going back to Him or having to ignore the fleshly desires that are so much easier to please. And don't go it alone. Things can be really tough sometimes. I get that more than most of you would ever understand. But find someone who can be an encouragement to you, who is going through the same thing you are, and work together to find God in your situations. He loves you and wants you to be with Him every second of the day.