Lesson 1: Depression is not an excuse; it's an explanation

I still remember when my counselor first told me this - it made SO much sense!! But it also meant I had some responsibility in this whole thing, too.

Depression is not an excuse. This statement can go a couple different ways. The way you behave when you're depressed can't be passed off as a "depressed moment" of aggression, anger, risky behavior, or acting out some other way. Sometimes it's hard to know how to control these behaviors, but one of the best things for you is to experience the consequences that come from losing your temper or causing someone else pain because you'll learn how to deal with it better next time.

Another way to look at depression not being an excuse is that it is not, for any reason, a way to get out of doing things you don't want to or don't feel like doing. Even on your lowest days, you CAN push through. It is healthy to take a day off here or there to get some sleep and take care of yourself, but it shouldn't be spent wallowing in sorrow - it should be spent doing something that makes you feel good, something you enjoy.

Depression IS an explanation. What I mean by this is that depression is a systematic mental disorder that has its causes and effects. It's impossible to deny that depression plays a role in the way a person who has it lives their every day life. Speaking from experience, being exhausted, moody, so sad it hurts, feeling like you're dragging baggage around every day - those things are undeniable and a very real part of depression. But with time and help, a person with depression can learn how to work through all of those things and live a life of freedom.

This being said, the fact that I am recovering from depression does not mean that I am excused from the normal social rules of behavior and interaction; but it does give more of a background as to why exactly I may behave the way I do in certain instances. This goes for really any mental disorder - it doesn't mean you need to give the person a bunch of slack or pity. Actually, the best thing you can do for them is have expectations for them that are about the same as you would have for a "normal person" but allow little amounts of grace and give encouragement when it gets tough for them to meet those expectations. They will appreciate that you take the time to recognize what they are living with but still treat them as a real person with real potential and not a castoff.